#publicly as in letting the whole world see at least

[gingerean]

The new one off type characters in batdr don’t have nearly the same amount of impact as they did in the first game.

I don’t know if anyone else feels like this but it feels like a lot of them have something missing. In batim there’s a bit of structure to the introduction of characters, “Hey here’s my job and here’s why I don’t like Joey.” Lots of characters follow that and I feel like that gives a lot of them a good starting point to be excepted by the community because it feels a lot more personally connected to the characters we already know like Joey or whoever else while the new characters in batdr feel floaty and unconnected. A good example is Grant Cohen or Jack Fain who both only have one audio log in batim stating their jobs and how they feel about it and name drop another character and both are beloved by fan and I’m sure some people would say they are their favorite characters. On the other hand there are reoccurring characters from batdr that I barely remember the names of that talk way longer than our one offs from batim. Another part of it to me is there’s no fun in trying to find out who’s who like we got to do with Norman or Shawn or anyone else from batim. Like who has deep head cannons about Dale Little . No one really pops out to me and everyone blends together. There’s no spice to these guys and they all can be used interchangeably to me. Sorry if this is a whole lotta nothing but I would really like to hear other opinions on this. Apologies to anyone whose favorite character is Bill Danton sorry for slandering your man.

Maybe I just like stories more heavy on interpersonal drama and stuff.

[vax-merstappen]

secret keeper (op81)

summary: trying to keep your and oscar's relationship hidden from the public was not easy, especially when the one person you trusted not to say anything may have told the whole grid what was going on.

this definitely got more funny than cute lol but this was probably my favorite fic to write! hope you enjoy!

You were walking through the paddock to meet up with the man who everyone knew as your best friend, Oscar Piastri. You had known each other for years, meeting when your brother had raced against him in a karting series. Though your brother had quit after only a few years of karting, you had grown close to Oscar and continued to hang out with him. When he got to Formula 1, you came to the races that you were able to in order to support your friend.

At least that's what the world thought. You and Oscar had been dating for 2 years before he started racing with McLaren. As a couple you mutually decided to keep your relationship as private as possible. Fans could get nasty and with Oscar's dream of making it to the pinnacle of motorsport, you knew that every single thing you did together would be analyzed if you were to go public. You liked your privacy and Oscar did too, so naturally it made sense to just be friends publicly.

Of course your families and close friends knew that you were dating. You had also informed the members of the team that needed to know, just so they could understand why you were always in the paddock. Outside of that, there were very few people that knew the situation.

So it was shocking to say the least when you passed by Pierre on the way to the McLaren hospitality one morning and he gave you a nod of recognition. "Ah, you're Oscar's friend!" he exclaimed, making air quotes as he said the word friend. He shook your hand and smiled.

"What is that supposed to mean?" you asked, wondering if he somehow knew you were dating Oscar.

Pierre looked embarrassed for a second. "Oh, um, I just meant that you guys seem too close to be just friends? You must be best friends to show up at all these races, he must see you like a sister?"

You cringed inwardly at being seen as Oscar's sister, but were ultimately relieved that Pierre did not know about your relationship. You wished Pierre luck on the race and continued towards the McLaren hospitality. Right before you could step inside, you saw Logan walking towards you.

He smiled before gesturing at you to follow him into the alley between the hospitality buildings. "You better treat him right," Logan said.

"Treat who right?" you asked, again scared that Logan knew about you dating Oscar.

"Oscar," he said and your heart skipped a beat. "If you're going to date him, you better do it right. If you break his heart, Alex and I will break you."

Your stomach dropped. "I, I how did you know?" you stammered.

"Oh, uh, lucky guess?" Logan shrugged awkwardly. "But, uh, don't mess with my boy." He walked away.

First Pierre acting weird and now Logan. Something was up and you needed to find Oscar to figure it out. You beelined into the hospitality to find where he could possibly be hiding. Checking all the rooms, you found that he was nowhere in sight. After asking around, you discovered that Oscar was scheduled to speak with the media at the press conference. You needed to find him before he got on that stage.

You walked as fast as you could without running towards where he was supposed to be. However, you looked to your right and saw yet another driver approaching you. Fernando Alonso himself rushed to your side.

"Hey congrats on the new boyfriend!" he said jokingly, before noticing the panicked expression on your face. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"I need to find Oscar," you said. "Somehow all of you know about us and I don't know why and I'm scared."

Fernando looked you in the eyes. "Hey, it's alright, let's go find him together. He should be at the media stage right?"

You nodded and were relieved as Fernando began to lead you towards your boyfriend. "But seriously, how did you know?" you asked.

"Well I heard it from Carlos, but I don't know how he found out," he revealed. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine, Nando, just help me find Oscar."

You finally got to the stage and saw your boyfriend already being interviewed. Fernando gave you one last reassurance that everything would be okay before leaving you to go do his own press duties. You looked to the seat next to you and saw yet another driver.

"I think you make a great couple," George said, smiling at you. The his face dropped. "Oh, I wasn't supposed to talk about it. Shit."

"It's okay," you sighed. "I know that you know now. I just want to know how this happened."

"Well," George said, looking around before dropping into a whisper. "A certain driver may have slipped and said something about it to Alex who texted Logan, Charles, and I who may have said something to Lewis who actually kept his mouth shut but apparently Charles told Carlos, who told Checo and Nando, and Pierre, who told Esteban and Yuki. That same driver also told Daniel who let Max, Lance, and Nico in and then Nico told Kevin and Valtteri and then Valtteri told Zhou."

"How do you know all that?" you asked, amazed that George kept track of all of the gossip.

"The skill of gossiping comes with the job," he said. "But you didn't hear all this from me."

You nodded. There was nothing left to do now besides wait for your boyfriend to finish the conference. While he talked, you recalled a conversation you and Oscar had during the past week.

---

"I can't believe you bring your friend to so many races," Lando had remarked. "I almost thought you guys were dating at first."

You and Oscar had shared a look. You nodded to him to confirm it was okay to tell the truth.

"Well we are dating," Oscar said and Lando looked up from his phone, shocked.

"Oh my god! I was right!" he shouted.

You and Oscar immediately shushed him. "We're keeping it a secret for now," you explained. "Don't want the press digging into our relationship."

Lando nodded. "My lips are sealed."

Little did you know, he had immediately gone to talk to Alex and let it slip that you and Oscar were actually dating. And a few hours after that, he had mentioned it in conversation with Daniel.

---

You had a realization. The only person who you had mutually agreed to tell on the grid was Oscar's own teammate, Lando Norris. And while you had trusted him, he was sort of famous for being a PR problem.

You looked up to see Oscar leaving the press conference. Your boyfriend smiled and walked over to you when he saw you in the crowd.

"Oscar, the whole grid knows we are dating."

Oscar looked panicked. "I'm so sorry, babe. I don't know how this could have happened, let me go figure it out..."

"I know what happened," you interrupted.

"What?"

"We're going to need to have a conversation with a certain teammate of yours."

Oscar rolled his eyes. "Of course it was him."

You two made your way to the McLaren garage and Oscar's face got angry when he saw Lando nonchalantly talking with one of the mechanics. Oscar was generally a quiet guy, but could be intimidating when necessary. You smiled as you prepared to watch the confrontation.

"LANDO MOTHERFUCKING NORRIS!" Oscar shouted. "Get your ass over here right now!"

Lando looked panicked and you could almost audibly hear him say "oh shit" before scurrying out of the garage. Your boyfriend looked back at you with an amused smile.

"Last time we trust him to keep our secrets."

You laughed before pulling Oscar into a hug. Even though Lando had leaked your relationship to the grid, you knew things wouldn't be so bad as long as you still had Oscar by your side.

[torukmaktoskxawng]

Hi I love your work! Would you have any sfw + nsfw relationship headcanons for So’lek x fem Sarentu Na’vi? I’m playing AFoP right now and I’m looking for crumbs in every in-game interaction lol

Pairing: So'lek/Fem!Sarentu!Reader

Taglist: @mooniequeen @avatar-lover @neteyamsyawntu

Warnings: nsfw (will be under the cut), minors dni

A/n: Using my favorite picture I ever took while playing AFoP 💕 Imagine that's how he looked when you walked into the room.

Also, my first headcanon request! Yay!

~~~~~~~~~

Sfw:

This man trusts you with his life and therefore trusts you are safe and loyal to him, no matter how far or how long you two are apart. (Doesn't mean he trusts Eetu to keep his overconfident hands to himself)

You're constantly traveling and never in one place for long, and while he used to be the same way, he finds himself staying in a chosen few places for long periods of time so that you can easily find him.

While he isn't much for PDA, he's still Na'vi, and he is going to grab your tail, both publicly and privately.

After losing his own clan, he understands exactly what you need to finally and properly mourn the loss of the Sarentu. He gives you what he wished he could've accepted from others after the loss of his people.

Doesn't like it when people tease him about your love. He takes your relationship very seriously and doesn't see the teasing as lighthearted. Priya learns quickly that he's more broody if your relationship comes up in the conversation.

And it's not like he's ashamed of your relationship. He's very proud of it, thank you very much. Even though he isn't into PDA, he still properly courts you in Na'vi tradition like you deserve. He wants you to experience Na'vi traditions since you never had them growing up.

He forces himself to appreciate the Sky People's communication devices because they ease his worries when he's able to talk to you from long distances. Yes, he trusts you to be safe, but he can't trust the rest of Pandora to do the same.

Takes his role as Big Brother to the rest of the Sarentu (Ri'nela, Nor, and Teylan) very seriously since you clearly trust him to guide your family when you're traveling and away from home.

Nsfw (minors dni):

I've said it once, and I'll say it again, this man has ZERO shame when he's eating you out. He's hungry, and he's messy. He's not gonna care how loud or disgusting it sounds.

I wouldn't be surprised if he spent a whole night with his mouth between your legs. I doubt this man has had any action during his life of solitude and path of revenge, so he's going to make up for lost time. If he's craving your taste, you better let him ravage you.

He's one of those lovers who refuses to pleasure himself unless it's to pleasure you, your care and well-being first and foremost in his mind. He doesn't care if it physically hurts not being able to cum, he's going to make sure you cum first. Please please PLEASE give him just as much attention because he deserves it. 🙏

When you two finally mate and form tsaheylu, he's supporting your weight as he takes you up against the nearest tree, being as gentle as physically possibly even with your gummy walls hugging his cock so deliciously. It takes a lot of his strength and willpower not to rail you right away. Since you're bonding for the first time, he wants it to be prolonged and intense. He wants to take his time.

Another reason why he sometimes refuses to cum is because believe it not, he doesn't have a breeding kink. At least not yet. He's not oblivious of the world around you, and even in his frenzied need to have every part of you, he remembers the war and how it's no place to start a family, no matter how much the both of you might want it.

He refuses to budge on the matter, and you need to respect that boundary. So you try other ways to get him to cum. Having him fuck you between the thighs was the best idea since the human invention of sliced bread. He. Loves. It. You have to hold onto his tail because it's always thrashing wildly behind him as he grinds his leaking cock into the tight space where you clench your thighs.

This man has been so deprived that when he cums, he cums a lot. A LOT. It's a shame none if that goes inside you 🫣 what a shame.

Growls. Enough said.

Actually, no, not enough said. Growls between your legs and the vibration puts toys to shame.

Mating bites 🫦 but they're mostly hidden between your thighs, under your loincloth. You definitely feel them as you walk around, and that is one of the little things in life between you and him that gets So'lek to smile.

~~~~~~~~~

I will happily write more about this!

RULES

REQUEST

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST

[beesspacedotorg]

The Sky is Blue, the Grass is Green

Summary: You love your girlfriend more than anything else in the world. It's not hard, she's perfect for you. You'd give her everything she could ever want and more still.

Warning: SEX LESBIAN SEX WITH GIRLS AND LESBIANS. I will say that reader has a vagina as does lino. hits is because I wrote this while half asleep after not sleeping for 16 hours with a sore throat and forgot to write gender neutral reader. outside of the fact that the reader has one of those body type is not specified because :|. uh. spanking (sorry, I'm me) and mommy kink (me) and girls being in love with each other

notes: happy pride month. I've been listening to a lot of music by sapphics recently and it made me gay. Also I saw some loser say that Chappell Roan is the first queer person to publicly yearn for women and that is phenomenally untrue. Internet person who I've never met, this was written to spite you. Sorry for not making this more inclusive to women of all body types or to all lesbians regardless of gender. mayhaps I will write something for you soon. EXTRA NOTE: Moon Chaeyoung is not a kpop idol (to my knowledge) she is Cindy Moon aka Silk aka a Spider-Man. Chaeyoung is her Korean name. sorry for the slander, Cindy, I love you more than anything but I needed a name.

You’re going to make her your wife one day. You know this with the certainty that you know everything else. The sky is blue, the grass is green, you are going to marry Lee Minho. You’re staring at her, watching her make breakfast (that isn’t actually breakfast because you’re eating it at 2pm) in an old school shirt of yours and you can feel your love for her swell through your heart to be pumped through the rest of your body. You think that loving her is the most effective drug on the planet, that people wouldn’t need anything stronger than an ibuprofen because just spending a minute alone with her is enough to give you a high unlike any other. She turns around to plate the food and catches you staring, she always does, and it makes her ears blush crimson.

“Yah,” she says it softly, “take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Why would I need a picture when I have the real thing right in front of me?” Her ears turn a new, deeper shade of red and she avoids your gaze.

“You’re a charmer, you know that?”

“I have the most beautiful woman in the world in front of me and you want me to be normal about it?” You roll your eyes playfully, and reach for your cup to take a sip of your juice.

“No, you don’t,” she says, suddenly.

“‘No, I don’t’ what?”

“You don’t have the most beautiful woman in the world in front of you,” she hands you your plate - with no eggs because you can’t stand them, and no pork because it makes you sick, and french toast the way your dad used to make on lazy Sunday mornings - made with love and care just like everything else she does.

“You don’t have the most beautiful woman in the world in front of you,” she repeats, sitting down next to you with her breakfast that’s completely different from yours, “I do.”

-

“Minnie Mouse?” You just came from work, calling through the house to see if she’s home, too. You can tell from the aggravated sigh that comes from the living room that she is, indeed, home.

“You could literally call me anything else,” she’s wrestling Dori on her lap, the tabby always staunchly opposed to having his nails clipped.

“Where’s the fun in that?” You sit down beside her and take the clippers, letting her soothe and calm Dori while you make yourself his least favorite for the night. You’ll live. He’ll come begging for attention when Minho’s too busy being great at everything to give it to him.

“The fun is not having your girlfriend break your toes in your sleep.” You laugh at her and bring her Doongie, holding him instead because he doesn’t care about the whole process even a little bit and you want to pet his soft head.

“Did you know there’s nothing they can do for broken toes?”

“Really? Doongie, please stop wiggling so much.”

“Yeah, they kind of just say ‘good luck’ and kick you out before charging you one million dollars for breathing hospital air.”

“American healthcare really is something. How’d you learn that by the way?”

“My friend had an experience once. Also, it was mentioned in a video game.” She laughs, kissing Doongie’s forehead, then yours.

“Did you learn anything else in that video game?”

“I have incredibly poor hand-eye coordination.”

“I could’ve told you that.”

“What- what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Will you get a towel to wrap Soongie in, please?”

“Hey, wait. Hey! You can’t just say weird things and walk away!”

(“Can you really tell that I have poor hand-eye coordination?” You ask her this while she’s splayed out under you, two of your fingers knuckle deep in her sweet cunt while a thumb circles her clit.

“What?” She’s out of breath and her chest is heaving in a way that makes her tits look even hotter than normal. You almost lose your train of thought.

“Earlier. You said you can tell that I have poor hand-eye coordination.”

“Jesus- you stopped fucking me to ask me that?” One of her hands that was cradling your wrist goes up to her eyes to rub at them. “You’re something else.”

“Well! I just remembered it! Maybe I’m not doing a good job-”

“Stupid girl,” she’s got you on your back now, seemingly not caring about the orgasm she was approaching before you got distracted. “When have I ever not told you when I didn’t like something?”

“Uh. Never?”

“Exactly, so why do you think I’d start now? With this?” She gestures between the two of you and you look, stupidly, like you will see something other than your naked, sweaty body and her equally naked, equally sweaty, incredibly sexy body.

“That’s… that’s a great question.”

“I was just teasing, jagi. That’s all.” She kisses the side of your mouth and you can feel the way her lashes flutter along your cheek in a perfect butterfly kiss. Everything about her makes you fall deeper in love the longer you know her, even her stupidly long and perfect eyelashes.

“So, about my hand-eye coordination.” She drops her head to your shoulder with another curse and your hand comes up to play with her hair.

“It’s still bad, believe me. I don’t notice it when we have sex, though. You’re perfectly good with your hands, jagi.”

“The best?” She smiles, kisses you on the mouth this time.

“The best.”)

-

She’s got you in between her legs in the tub, her strong thighs thrown over yours so you can’t move while she aims the jet of the shower head directly on your clit. It’s almost too much, it always is, an unyielding wall of pressure that sends shocks of pleasure through your body in a way that makes you squirmy beyond belief. The first time you did this to yourself, you ended up with bruises on your back, the first time you did this with her, you almost elbowed her in the face. As it stands, she’s got her arms wrapped around you as best she can as you whine underneath her.

“I can’t, I can’t. ‘S too much, please.”

“Jagi,” she coos it right into your ear, “you haven’t even came yet. You keep tapping out before it gets good. Don’t you wanna come, baby?” You nod and she tilts her head out of the way so you don’t nail her in the jaw.

“I want to, but it’s so much.” She coos as you again as your legs scramble uselessly for purchase underneath hers. The tile is too slippery for you to do so, and Minho’s thighs are no joke. She’s danced for years and her gym routine is nothing to scoff at. You could spend hours writing sonnets about her legs if you weren’t so distracted.

“You can though, can’t you, kitty cat?” Your hand pats frantically at her arm until she gets the message to hold it in one of her own. “You can be good for me, right? You’ll come the way I want you to?”

The sound you let out in response to that is more of a cry than anything else, she shushes you and kisses your cheek sweetly like she isn’t the one overloading your nerves with sensation, like the isn’t the one unleashing as much water pressure as possible on the most sensitive part of your body. She shifts her grip just slightly, adjusts the angle and that has you lurching forward so fast you almost knock her over.

“Silly girl, don’t run.” She pulls you right back to her chest, boobs pressed against your back as she fixes the spray directly at the angle that had you reeling. “I always forget how squirmy you get when we do this.” She giggles, like she’s watching a silly cartoon.

“Mommy,” you can’t think enough to say anything intelligent, high, pitchy moans coming out in place of words. You want to answer her, to tell her you weren’t trying to run, that you will be a good girl for her. She’s trained you better than this, but you can’t say much else beyond her title, beyond her name. You hope she knows what you’re trying to tell her anyway.

“Oh, jagi.” Her voice is soft and sweet, but the way she’s pinning you is not. Neither is the way she’s forcing you to take what she gives you. “Mommy’s here, kitty cat. Mommy’s got you.”

“Mommy. Mommy.” You’re repeating it, over and over, too dumb to say anything else as you feel the overwhelming input you’ve been receiving crest higher and higher. She hums after each mention of her name like she understands what you’re saying. Hums like you’re one of the cats meowing at her for attention. You suppose she’s not too far off.

You cum with a near silent scream, breath halting in your chest in a way that used to concern Minho when it first happened. She doesn’t keep the water pressure going for too long after that, dropping the showerhead to replace the stream with her fingers to help you ride it out. She only loosens her grip when you slump back against her, loose limbed and dazed, muscles still twitching from how tightly they were tensed. She kisses the side of your face and very politely keeps her hands above your waistline while you calm down.

“You feel better?” She’s holding the shower head again, and giggles when you close your legs, simply holding it to the side so it doesn’t spray water all over the floor.

“Mhm. Thank you, mommy.”

“I’m glad. Let’s finish showering, yeah? Mommy will clean you up.”

 (You’re leaning heavily against her as she guides you to sit on the bed, grabbing your respective lotions and hair care products and turning to take care of you first. You whine at her.

“Let me do yours!” She raises an eyebrow.

“Keep your eyes open for more than thirty seconds and maybe I will.” You lift your hands and manually pry your eyelids apart. She bats at them until you stop.

“Ew, it’s so gross when you do that. Freak.”

“I miss five minutes ago when you were telling me I’m the love of your life.”

“Five minutes ago you weren’t being a little shit head.”

“False. I’m always a shit head.” She hums and grabs your chin, wiggling your head a little until you look at her.

“No, sometimes, you’re my sweet little girl.”

“Oh.” There’s absolutely no hiding the way you react to her when she talks to you like that and your hands fly to her hips as she lets go and leans back out of your personal space to grab the stuff to start your post-shower routine.

“Let me eat you out.” It’s sudden, and comes out of you in a rush.

“What?” She nearly drops the bottle of leave-in, ears turning red.

“Please? Please. I’ll get on my knees right now.” She scoffs.

“You’re falling asleep as we speak”

“No, I’m wide awake right now. Please let me, please.” She hums.

“Let me finish what I’m doing and if you’re still speaking in full sentences and not going crazy with sleep induced hysteria, I’ll let you.”

“Yippee!”

“If you fall asleep you can have what you want in the morning.”

“You’re the best, ever.”

“I’m aware.”

By the time she’s done taking care of the both of you, you are definitely not well enough to be doing anything. That doesn’t stop you from trying though, and you fall asleep with your head pillowed on one of Minho’s thighs. She has to readjust you so you don’t suffocate in her cunt. What a way to go.)

-

Minho is having a bad day today. It isn’t often she has those, generally unflappable to most things, but she’d gotten into a fight with one of her work friends and came home in a huff.

“I just don’t understand why she won’t listen to me!” She’s slamming things open and closed around the kitchen while you sit on the counter. She works around you as she always does and doesn’t slam anything if it’s less than two feet away from you.

“I know, she’s a bitch. You should report her to HR or something.”

“I should!”

“I’ll help you draft the email. I’m very good at sounding bitchy in a nice way.”

“You are!” She’s aggressively chopping vegetables next to you and you rest a hand on her shoulder.

“Be careful of your fingers, lovie.”

“I’m always careful.”

“Of course you are,” you’re unusually agreeable because it will do nothing but harm to work your girlfriend up when she’s already upset. Besides, of the two of you, you’re more clumsy, so it’s not like you have any legs to stand on. 

“Do you want solutions to what’s going on, or do you want me to keep calling your coworkers mean names?” It’s nice to ask people what kind of support they want, you learned. Minho is a coin toss, sometimes she wants an immediate solution, sometimes she wants to complain. You always do your best to meet her where she is.

“The second one, please.” She’s sauteeing something in the wok, and it smells delicious. You peer over her shoulder.

“Pause. Is that pancit?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re the love of my life.”

“Yes, yes,” you touch your pointer finger to the tip of an iron-hot ear as she speaks, “please call Moon Chaeyoung a cunt again, it’s funny.”

And so you do, going into detail about all the ways Moon Chaeyoung is inferior at her job compared to your girlfriend until she asks you for genuine help.

(“Is there anything else you need?” She’s laying with her head in your lap as you make tiny braids in her hair. Her eyes are closing and she hums as she thinks about it. You’ve already given her all the advice that you can, her only course of action now is to do it.

“Well. I can think of some things.” She turns her head to the side and shoves her face into your crotch like an animal. You swat her shoulder lightly.

“You’re a horn dog. Insatiable.” She turns her eyes to you, squinting them so her cat-like gaze shifts from playful to predatory.

“Which one of us woke the other up this morning because they couldn’t stop shoving their hands in their pants?” She sits up, leaning over you.

“I was dreaming!” You’re giggling, slipping under her arm and moving away.

“You kept going after I woke you up!” She stands up, throwing her arms in the air indignantly. You cross your arms in response.

“I was horny!” 

“That’s exactly my point.” She has her head in her hands so the words come out muffled. She grumbles something and lunges after you. You squeal and head towards your room.

“Yah! Get back here you little shit!” She lets out a huff as you throw a cat toy at her.

“I thought I was the love of your life!”

“That was before you decided to run from me- don’t you dare close that damn door-” The bedroom door clicks shut and the sound of your giggles is uncontrollable. You hear her walk away before the lock jiggles and her head pops through.

“Guess who?” You laugh again, heading towards the bed to throw more things at her, it does nothing to stop her. It’s not long before she has you pinned underneath her.

“Hi,” you smile at her, leaning up for a kiss.

“All that and all you want to say to me is ‘hi’?”

“Yeah.” She rolls her eyes and flips you over as you yelp in surprise. You’re about to start questioning her when a sharp sting lights up your ass.

“Ah- Minho! Hey!”

“Stop squirming. I’m not done yet.” There’s another smack over your pants before she pulls them down and her palm is connecting with skin.

“This isn’t fair! I didn’t even do anything!” You’re protesting while laying limply across her lap. She laughs at you.

“‘This isn’t fair’ she whines. Why is your pussy so wet then, hmm?” She spreads your legs a bit and lands a smack there too, snickering when your legs close reflexively on her hand. “Be a good girl, jagi. Take what you’re given.”)

-

It’s sunny when you ask her. The air is hot and humid and she’s wearing this dress that’s making your brain melt out of your ears. You’re having a picnic, because you can, and she’s talking about this show that she’s watching with Jisung.

“And then- and you’ll never fucking believe this- he goes ‘I could never court her’ and she overhears. If that happened to me I would literally explode.” You hum, shoving a heart shaped sandwich in her mouth while you look at her side profile. She’s beautiful, sharp nose and a round face. You want to live the rest of your life with her.

You’ve talked about it before, on hazy mornings when the rest of the world is just waking. In the middle of the night when the only sound is the hoot of owls and the buzz of crickets. At lunch, at dinner, at breakfast. In the shower, over the phone, through text messaging when you’re at work. You both are listed on the cat's vet information, something she changed a year into dating that she was nervous about telling you.

  “I don’t want you to feel pressured,” she’d said, “or like they’re your responsibility. I can take you off if you want, but I thought that if I was out of town or if something happened, you should be able to take care of them.” She’d been nervous, ears red with shame instead of the cute way they flush when you flirt with her. 

“Thank you, jagi.” You don’t often call her that, preferring to torture her with bad puns using the syllables of her name, so her breath catches in her throat.

“You’re sure?”

“Of course.”

She knows every order that you get from fast food restaurants, she hounded your parents for their chicken noodle soup recipe when you got sick one time. She learned how to make your grandma’s spaghetti sauce and let’s you call her mommy in bed because it makes you feel safe.

She’s everything to you and then some, so when you tap her shoulder and hold out the ring you bought, it’s as natural as breathing. A fact of life, an inevitability. The sky is blue, the grass is green, you are going to marry Lee Minho.

“He keeps friendzoning her. It's absolutely despicable, like, are you blind or something-” She turns her gaze to you and her eyes go wide. “You’re joking.” Her eyes are welling with tears, something that you hardly ever see.

“I’m as serious as a heart attack, baby. Will you be my wife? I promise if you say yes I’ll start helping you make the bed in the morning instead of laying on it and making your job harder.” She hugs you, knocking you back onto the blanket you’re sitting on. The movement tips over your cup of lemonade and you damn near lose the ring.

“Of course I will. And you most certainly will not help. But that’s okay, I love you even if you create weird bumps in my sheets and mess up my hard work not five seconds after it’s done.” She kisses your face all over, resembling more like an overexcited puppy than the cats she favors, and you grab her hand to slip the ring on it.

“I love you, Minho. I really do.”

“I can’t believe I get to marry the most beautiful girl in the world,” she says, looking down at her hand.

“You don’t,” you start, kissing her cheekbone. “You don’t get to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. I do.”

(“You know,” she starts as you’re packing up, “I was going to propose to you soon.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Absolutely I am not.” She fishes around the pocket of her dress before pulling out a ring.

“This is so funny. Can I still have it?”

“Of course, it’s yours,” she slips it onto your finger, face heating up to match her ears, “everything I have is yours. Everything and then some.”)

[unlimitedlust]

Take Me Back To Eden - Noah Sebastian x Reader (+18)

Author’s Note:

Heyyy it’s me again! My fantasies have been all over Noah recently as you can see so, faster than ever (for my standards), I’ve got this story out for you. I really got out of my comfort zone for this one, but I hope you like it, let me know your opinions here later, please!!!

Disclaimers: I’m unable to write anything that doesn’t involve smut so there’s tons of it ahead, as always, you’ve been warned!!! Here we’ll also have bits of heresy, there are mentions of religiousness in a not religious way, there’s also dom! and rough Noah, oral (m receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v, unprotected p in a (yes, anal), creampie, aftercare.

Again, english is not my first language, forgive me for any mistakes!

WC: 2.4K

Hope you all enjoy your time here, don’t forget to like and reblog if you appreciate it and, if possible, I’d be very happy to hear your thoughts on it!!!

Warnings done, enjoy the story!!!

End of Author’s Note

~0~

The community priest’s daughter, that’s how everyone knew you for, and despite not being as religious as your parents, you did your best to keep up with the family’s reputation, at least publicly.

At the community’s eyes you were the daughter every father wished and prayed for, but if they ever knew about your likings off the spotlights.

Noah Sebastian, the rockstar born and raised in that same community, on the other hand, was not seen with the same grace, after all, he crossed lines a good christian could never accept nor admit.

And that, him being the forbidden fruit, the bad example no one should ever follow, along with his tall figure adorned with tattoos all over his skin, drew you into him instantly. After all, everyone loves a good sin.

At first, when the two of you met, you thought you’d just take part in a harmless cat and mouse game. At that moment, in your mind, he represented no real danger since he was almost always out of town. But oh boy how terribly wrong you were.

When things started to escalate and you had a taste of his sins, you soon realized you were in serious trouble and yet you didn’t want any help out of it.

What was meant to be only a physical involvement at first quickly turned into a forbidden relationship, which now you had to hide from the world, after all your parents, and mainly your father, would never allow such a thing, not with his most precious and chaste daughter.

And it would probably cause him a heart attack if he knew that at this very moment you were fully naked, locked up with Noah in his bathroom, down on your knees with his cock deep in your throat.

Noah’s tattooed hands held you by your hair as you bobbed your head up down his length, hollowing your cheeks around him, earning deep moans out of him at each movement.

You’ve been taught your whole life that you should only get down on your knees to pray, but oh boy how you loved to get down on your knees and let him use you and your mouth to his own liking.

You pulled your mouth out completely and teased the bundle of nerves right under the tip of his cock with your tongue, a devious smirk on your lips as you watched him watch you. He tightened the grip on your hair as your tongue went on, sliding from left to right and up and down on such a sensitive spot.

“Fucking stop” He pulled you up on your feet “I don’t wanna cum just yet”

He claimed your lips and hoisted you up by your asscheeks, sitting you on the counter behind you, legs wide open as he stood between them, devouring you with his lips and tongue while his hands traveled down you your body, one of them kneading one of your boobs as the other slid between your drenched folds, collecting your slickness as his pads circled your clit, applying pressure on it, your eyes rolling back at the stimulation.

“This wet already only from getting me off?”

You couldn’t answer, all you were able to do at that moment was bite your lip to keep you from moaning louder than you should, until he drew his hand away from you.

You whined in frustration as your pussy clenched around nothing, desperate to have him inside you, filling you, claiming you.

“Noah, p-please” You tried to pull his hips closer by hooking your legs around them as your hands ran up his tattooed arms to his nape.

“Tell me what you want” He demanded, lips inches from yours as he roughly grabbed you by your face, his dark eyes burning holes into yours.

“Fuck me. Hard” You spit out filthy.

“You want it hard?”

“Plea…” You gasped audibly when he pushed himself inside you with no warning “Oh fuck”

One of his arms snaked around your hips to keep you put by the edge of the counter as he bottomed you out. The sudden stretch made your body quiver in pleasure as he started to set his pace. Without breaking eye contact between you, he’d pull out almost completely to then slam himself back in harshly.

Like a starved man, his lips ran down your neck towards your breasts, where he kneaded one with his hand while his lips and teeth nibbled on the other, taking their time on your sensitive nipples as you arched your back towards him at each thrust, head thrown back in pleasure as his cock slid in and out of you.

With no warning in advance, he pulled out of you and, as if you were a weightless doll, he manhandled you down the sink and spun you around so now you could watch everything he was doing to you in the mirror.

He pushed himself back in, harder this time, making your body jolt forwards, his hips smacked loudly against your ass as he pulled you up straight by your hair for better leverage. He hooked his arms around your shoulders and hips, bringing your back to rest against his chest and allowing him to reach a new angle inside you, his pounding faster and harder as you felt your orgasm building within.

The scene unfolding in the mirror in front of you took your lust to a new level as you watched him rail you, the way his tattooed arms wrapped around you, the way your boobs bounced with each thrust, the fucked out expression you both held on your faces as you stood there agape, a pure moaning mess.

The hand on your hip slid down your front towards your clit, massaging and rolling it between his pads, the added stimulation tightening the pleasure knot in your lower belly. Noah knew you were close because he felt how your pussy clenched around him, so he picked up his pace and intensified his fingers’ work, and with a deep last thrust it snapped.

He kept your body close and stilled behind you as your body quivered against him while his fingers kept on working on you, riding you through your high until your body felt numb.

On the verge of his self control to not cum, your clenching walls like torture around him, he pulled out of you when he realized you were done.

Your eyes met again through the mirror and he reached out for your chin, pulling it to the side so his lips could meet yours in a passionate and tender kiss.

You’d just come, yet you were still in need of more of him, your body still ached for him, the amount of time you usually had to stay away from each other due to his work had you climbing over the walls for him, and by the look on his face behind you, he also wasn’t done with you.

His cock slid up and down between your asscheeks, still slick and wet from your pussy that now contracted around nothing, missing the way he stretched it to its limit just seconds ago.

With his palms now both splayed on your ass cheeks, parting them at each rub of his cock, you knew very well what he had in mind for you next.

You’d fucked countless times already but there was one thing you’d never done, a thing Noah knew you’d never done.

And he wanted that, he wanted to be your first, he wanted to claim you, you both knew that it was the biggest token of submissiveness and truthfully trust you could give him. The erotic and animalistic sense of possession and control involved in that exchange sent your head and body to overdrive with both lust and apprehension.

“Noah…” You bit your bottom lip, the uncertainty in your voice fading as his thumb drew circles on your hole, stimulating you, his eyes never breaking contact to yours because he wanted to have and to conquer you, but he wanted you to want it, he wanted you to crave for it, he wanted to be chosen and he wanted to watch you feel every aspect of it through that mirror.

“Yeah?” The husky whisper against your ear sent a strong shiver down your spine as he kept working on easing your hole.

His cock now between your legs, slipping back and forth slowly against your drenched folds, collecting your slick and coating himself in it, and he made sure that with every slide his tip met your clit teasingly, smearing it with his precum.

To feel him and to watch the scene unfold in front of you in the mirror felt pornographic as his swollen tip peaked between your thighs with every rub. You felt yourself getting bolder and hotter, and you couldn’t help but to bite your bottom lip harder as he slid a finger in your asshole, the strange yet stimulating feeling making you melt under his control at each calculated pump of his finger stretching you, getting you ready for him.

His eyes were dark with lust as he watched you relax and give in, as he watched your body reacting to him, your pussy now dripping with how turned on you were getting as he played with your ass.

“Noah…” His name left your lips once again in a soft chant as your ass met his finger on its own, the unexpected reaction making him groan.

“Fuck…” He bit on your shoulder blade and removed his finger slowly, which soon was replaced by his swollen tip coated with his own precum mixed with your slick, lubing you.

“Will you be gentle?” You whined, voice weak in anticipation as you braced yourself on the edge of the sink you were trapped against.

“Yes baby… Let me take care of you” He trailed wet kisses from your nape over your back and shoulders, their tenderness sending another wave of chills down your spine “I just need you to trust me, okay?”

His eyes met yours in the mirror again as he positioned himself against your ass, his tip pressing against your hole waiting for your signal as his large palms kept your ass cheeks parted, allowing him full view.

“Take me, Noah”

Your lips shaped a mute “O” as you felt like your breath was punched out of your lungs when he pushed in, the initial stretch from his thickness felt like it was tearing you in half and he was not even a couple of inches deep yet. He didn’t move at first, allowing you to feel and get used to it as he peppered wet kisses along the crock of your neck, his eyes trained on your every reaction in the mirror.

Seconds later the stingy pain started to fade and was suddenly replaced by a new found sensation, a different kind of pleasure you’d never experienced before burning through your veins as your hole settled him in.

It was raw, primal, blinded and flooded your senses in sheer lust.

Noah pushed deeper and a long animalistic moan erupted from your chest, your cheeks flushing in a dark shade of pink as your face contorted in bliss.

His digits sunk in your flesh as he shifted his attention between watching your fucked out face in the mirror and his thick cock disappearing into your tight hole, the feeling of it swallowing him deeper into you making him grunt and struggle to keep his restraint under control as he too was high in pleasure, transcending with the realization that you were his, only his, fully his.

“Fucking mine”

Once you got comfortable and confident he fucked you rough, raw, your ass colliding against his hip bones with each thrust, nasty moans and unintelligible profanities being spilled out from both of you as his length was now all the way in your ass.

It felt wrong and wicked, but the idea that he was ruining you with each pound, fucking you like a filthy whore, got you spiraling over the edge in a new found layer of lust as you now had no control over how loud you were being at that point, completely tamed by how hot it all felt, how amazing he was making you feel.

Your legs started to falter as your orgasm grew hot and strong, coming in a violent and uncontrollable wave. Seeing the way you were about to fall into pieces, Noah’s hands left your ass cheeks and moved up your body, one entangling in your hair as the other moved towards your mouth, pushing two of his fingers against your tongue, forcing you to open your mouth wider as he now fucked you in an unholy rhythm.

Feeling and watching him all over you, overpowering you, desecrating you, made your body tremble violently as your climax washed away all of your senses, deafening and blinding you as your body melted under his control.

Noah embraced you in his arms to keep your body from collapsing and your legs from giving in as he now pursued his own high, which didn’t take many seconds after yours to strike him as he was desperate to cum at that point, crazed by all of you. He crushed your body between his strong arms as he came inside your ass, releasing all his spent in long and thick hot spurts, his body twitching against yours as he did so.

“I love you so much” He whispered before pulling out of you, and you immediately felt his cum start to ooze out of you down your legs.

He kissed you tenderly and then proceeded to turn on the bathtub’s faucet, filling it.

He knew you couldn’t move from the sink where you were still standing by, exhausted and overwhelmed by the newly found sensations and experiences, so he lifted you up on his arms and walked you to the bathtub, carefully setting you down in it, your muscles instantly reacting to the amazing feel of the hot water engulfing you.

Noah took his place behind you in the tub and pulled you closer, nestling you in his arms as he kissed your temples.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” His voice was laced with concern.

“I’m more than okay” You looked up to meet his eyes, reassuring him “And I loved that you were the one to do it to me”

He smiled proudly and tightened his arms around you.

“The one and only” He giggled “Like I said: you’re mine”

[jacaranda-bloom]

THE LOST LIST FIC REC

I recently came across a list of fave fics that I thought I’d lost. It’s from years ago when I first started reading fic and I’ve been going on a wonderful trip down memory lane re-reading them all, so I thought I'd share 20 of them with you.

Some of these were well-read at the time they were posted, but haven’t been making it onto more recent rec lists. Some are tropes that aren’t as popular anymore. And some of them are pretty obscure with low readership, but each one holds a special place in my fic journey.

Hope you find something new and enjoyable, or get to revisit an old fave xx

*Please ensure you read the tags and author's notes for all fics.

(quiet like a fight) fingers laced together | decadent | E | 17k

Louis is a kitten hybrid in a cruel world. Harry's family is worried he's lonely and buys him Louis as a companion. Or the one where it's a whole new world for them both.

infinitely all for me | swallowsmateforlife | E | 10k

The Alpha Louis has been betrothed to since he was 14 finally comes of age and Louis is delivered to his home. Or the one where they figure it all out.

No Turbulence Please | wetdandelions | E | 5k

It's just Harry's luck that his rut hits right before his concert when he's stuck on an plane where his best friend is the only omega. Or the one where Louis doesn't mind helping Harry out.

trusting things beyond mistake | sarcasticfluentry | E | 10k

Harry wants to see if he can come without touching his cock, but things don't go as he'd planned. Louis, his flatmate, comes home and finds him in a compromising position. Or the one where Harry ends up getting more than he bargained for.

river flows in you | sarcasticfluentry | E | 10k

Louis goes into heat early and part of their tour gets rescheduled. Or the one where Harry fucks him through it.

Make Tea, Not War | howdoyouwhisk | E | 21k

"Is he the messiest?" "Yes." "Does he do the washing up?" "Never." "Does he make his bed?" "Never." "Hopeless, hopeless flatmate. Would you rather be with one of these guys?" "Nope!" Or the one where Louis attempts to become a better flatmate, much to Harry's dismay.

let me make a thing of cream and stars | missandrogyny | E | 25k

Louis and Nick host the most popular show on BBC Radio 1. The audience loves their shenanigans, which is why Louis is currently trying to interview singer (and frequent star of his sexual fantasies) Harry Styles, while Harry planks over him. Or the one where Harry is a rock star who is infatuated with Louis' bum, among other things.

you burn with the brightest flame | sarcasticfluentry | E | 34k

Harry and Niall are betas, Louis and Zayn are omegas, and Liam is an alpha. At least Harry thought he was a beta. When Louis goes into heat in the X Factor House, everything Harry thought he knew is turned upside down. Or the one where everyone gets more than bargained for.

Always Come Back To You | whoknows | E | 29k

Three years after 1D split the hysteria has died down somewhat. People don't care as much when Harry and Louis catch up for lunch, like good friends do. But when Louis publicly comes out and says he has a boyfriend (which he doesn't), he's naturally expected to present this mysterious boyfriend when he shows up to an LGBTQ+ charity event. Or the one where Harry volunteers to be Louis' pretend boyfriend and there might be a lot less pretending than either of them expected.

Unraveling | D1ona30 | E | 10k

Louis' birthday wish comes true. Cue the chaos. Or the one where Harry can read Louis' mind.

led by your beating heart | missandrogyny | E | 34k

He should delete. He should really delete the number. He and Louis shared nothing but brief small talk in the bathroom, nothing significant, nothing worth risking his career over. The smart move here is to just delete, forget about 'Cute Lou from the Loo' and move on. Of course, Harry hits call. Or the one where Harry's in One Direction, Louis isn't, and they reconnect over a game of 'Call or Delete'.

In Dreams | dolce_piccante | E | 24k

When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat comes with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbour, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face. Or the one where Harry's a teacher, Louis is a tattoo artist, and being neighbourly takes on a whole new meaning.

Special Topping | LoadedGunn | E | 13k

'Who would even want so many pizzas so late at night?' Harry wonders before the door opens. Oh. Apparently short guys with shaggy brown hair and a scruff and bright blue eyes and heart-stopping smiles. That's who. Or the one where Harry delivers pizza, fashion student Louis creates chaos in his flat, and it's totally inevitable that Harry finds himself drawn into the middle of it all.

One Day To Believe In You | mediaville | E | 8k

Harry blinks and has the nerve to look surprised. "You think about me when you get off?" "Yes," Louis says. He wonders how hard he'd need to punch himself in the face to knock himself out. "Often?" "Yes, Christ, Harry," Louis groans. "Probably eight times a week for going on six years now. On average, you know. More when we were touring, less when I've been visiting family. Anything else you'd like to know?" Or the one where Louis can't lie.

Is This Seat Taken? | Lainy122 | E | 36k

A borrowed suit from Zayn, a cigarette and the right attitude, and Louis went from security breach to misplaced celebrity instantly. He could practically see the wheels in the security guy’s head switch from ‘could be dangerous’ to ‘could get me fired’. L.A was so predictable. Or the one where Louis poses as a seat-filler and Harry is a superstar at the event he sneaks into.

Breathe Me | elsi_bee | E | 26k

Louis is forced to attend a week long meditation retreat. The meditation coach is not quite what he was expecting. Or the one where Louis and Liam are songwriters, Harry might be a giant hippie, Niall plays guitar, and Zayn is dark and mysterious.

Make A Run, Cause Some Rebellion | whoknows | E | 9k

As a general rule, kitten hybrids are small and disinterested in what other people want them to do, slightly evil and at least a little manipulative. Louis prides himself on being all of those things to varying degrees. Or the one where Louis lives with Liam, Harry is Liam's annoying hipster friend who Louis can't stand, and there's a fine line between love and hate.

Foolishly, Completely Falling | dea_liberty | E | 8k

Now that he’s actually gone and done it, there seems to be no way of going back - no rinse and repeat, no ctrl+alt+del, no abort button, no help to be had. He’s fallen into a black hole and he cannot seem to find a way out. The black hole is also known as Tumblr. More specifically, it’s known as Tumblr’s Larry Stylinson tag. Or the one where Louis becomes a Larry shipper by accident.

Hiding Out In The Kitchen | LittleMousling | E | 28k

Harry's in an internationally famous boyband with his three best mates, he gets laid on a pretty regular basis, and he's headed to Australia in a week. He doesn't need anything else in his busy life, and he certainly doesn't need a boyfriend. Or the one where Harry likes coffee, Louis works in a coffee shop, and maybe having a boyfriend wouldn't actually be a bad thing at all.

Hate Me To The Moon | harrystylesandstuff | E | 84k

The last thing Harry wanted was to spend his entire summer stuck with his dad's new fiancée and her kids, especially when he learns she's a very religious dictator, raising a sixteen year old nun and a clean cut potential priest ass kisser. That is until Harry finds out his future step-brother is actually the rude stranger he caught sucking off a guy in a pub. Or the one where Harry is a sexy nerd, Louis is a great actor, and they both pretend to hate each other's guts to convince themselves they're not feeling things future step-brothers shouldn't feel.

Hope you find something to enjoy!

[kanmom51]

It's been over a week

And I'm still trying to digest and come to terms with it.

I know I said that I take comfort in them being together, and I got to say, that is a big big help in dealing with their departure, and yet, can't help but be sad and worry like a mom that just sent her kids off to the army.

Watching JM's live with JK's that followed (a few hours later and after their family dinner) was heart wrenching. JM struggling with his shaved hair was heartbreaking.

This clearly was not easy for them.

JM the next day (in the BTB).

I can't help but wonder, after the initial annoyance of getting a minute or a little more from the two's enlistment day, if the whole thing was just too emotional and more than what they themselves wanted to share publicly.

Again, seeing how JM is struggling, and JK knowing and comforting him. That look on JM's face when JK does that. Ugh, how I wish they didn't have to go through this. But they did. They are. And now it's time to come to terms with it.

I guess having lived it, done the army thing, gone through basic training and military service I have a little more insight as to what they will be going through, and that also gives me some comfort, because yes, it's going to be hard, both the physical and mental aspects of it. The structure, the loss of individuality, the harsh physical and mental training. But, a. they are 2 of the most driven people I have seen, a work ethic and a need to excel, and they will attack this (so to speak) no differently; b. they have been through so much getting to where they have gotten. Yes, the structure is a little different, but they are no strangers to being in a structured environment, told what to do, when to do it, how to do it. Basically, they are used to doing what they are told. Strenuous physical activity is no stranger to them as well. Experiencing struggles teaches you that you can prevail. Teaches you that you are strong enough to get through it. Teaches you that there is a light at the end of that tunnel. And knowing that, at times of hardship, can mean everything to the person going through that.

Their age, being mostly older than others enlisting (most do so at 18-21) has it's advantages and disadvantages. Advantages being having that insight and life experience that they have, especially starting their careers at such a young age. Disadvantage being that at this age they are all grown up, as in mostly know who they are, what they want to do with their life. Having to leave all of that at the door is not easy and takes adjusting to. But they are resilient. And their life experience and struggles they went through over the years will, as mentioned, definitley help them get through this as well.

For my sanity and mental well being I'm going to ignore the geo-political fuckery going on right now. Does willing things not to happen make them not happen? I'm going to go with yes on this. Don't you dare contradict me here. Let me live in my fantasy world at least on this one.

So yeah, it definitely won't be easy. Having each other's back there will definitley help, although having to keep their hands off each other in public will definitley be a challenge they will have to deal with. I digress. They will be ok. They have each other. They will get through this, and who knows, perhaps at some point (probably not basic training, cause that sucks) they might even enjoy their service (enjoy what they will be doing, feel satisfaction in their contribution to their country, who knows...).

And yet, knowing all of this, I'm still sad.

Because I already miss the shit out of them.

And it's kind of funny, because I know there is plenty of content coming up, including actual Jikook content, like just the two of them without the group as a buffer content, and that is definitely something to look forward to. And it's not like we were seeing them on a daily or even weekly basis before they enlisted (there were periods of time we were parched with them not to be seen or heard from for ages).

But this feels different. I guess knowing that even if they wanted to reach out, at the moment, they can't. Knowing that there isn't a chance of a JK restaurant visit popping up, or a surprise live makes it all so very real.

I'm not going to do the day counting. For me, that makes dealing with it harder. Maybe when we are down to two digits, definitely not before. I think I will just sit back, enjoy the new content they share with us, go through old content (there is so much out there, enough to definitely get me through the next 18 months, sob sob).

As for myself, well I'm not going anywhere.

Yes, I have something going on right now and am posting less often, but I'm still here, still around and will be posting and answering your messages.

We will all get through this together.

[jeffstormer]

On Awards, and the Grief (and Growth) of Giving Up

I made a big life decision at the start of this year I want to unpack here today, for obvious reasons.

As of this year, I made the decision to formally stop submitting my work for any kind of award, event, or industry recognition tied exclusively to a public/fan vote. Further, I would not ask others to submit on my behalf, and would go so far as to ask people not to do so. I'd like to talk about why I made that call and what it means to me.

Before I do, a necessary disclaimer: No shade whatsoever to those who do submit to those kinds of awards, and campaign for those kinds of awards. I recognize the market value in that kind of thing; the personal validation that comes from a group of people announcing you as the best. I see that all, and I'm proud of you for earning that recognition. This is strictly one person's opinion.

With that said, why did I make that call?

The truth is, from the moment I entered the tabletop industry, winning an ENnie was, to me, the benchmark of success. It was the sign that I was good at this. I let it define my relationship to my art. I couldn't stop, couldn't be satisfied, until I held that trophy.

So, every year, I would submit, and every year, I'd fall short, and every year, I'd be crushed.

At times, I could look at the list of nominees and winners and feel confident that we didn't have a chance. Other times, I didn't feel that way. But I was always viewing my work in competition, which warped how I perceived art on the whole.

Eventually, I came to the realization: it's not going to happen, and all aspiring to this platform is going to accomplish is "making me jealous of my peers instead of feeling in community with them." To find real satisfaction with the work, it can't be through that kind of mechanism.

Which is to say: I gave up. I acknowledged "my work is never going to be the kind of beloved that puts me on that pedestal, so all I am doing is setting myself up for disappointment. Better to be personally proud of something, and recognize the contributions made in other ways, than to hold yourself in a system that grinds you down year after year.

There's no shame in admitting you're giving up in something. Sometimes, things are meant to be failures. Sometimes, your best will never be good enough. I can recognize the ways in which my work is special (we hold a world record in Actual Play that will, frankly, likely never be topped, maybe not ever in my lifetime at least), without holding myself accountable to a standard that frankly, doesn't apply to the kind of art I make.

That said, there's also a grief in admitting that.

It's an acknowledgment that, on some level, the goal that I set for myself was a failure. That awards I have previously wanted to win are permanently out of my grasp, that I have failed to achieve a goal. That I, on a very literal level, wasn't good enough to do the thing.

And that's tough. Moreso on some days than others.

But, in spite of it all, I feel great about this decision. I feel like I made the right decision for myself, my work, and my trajectory as an artist.

It has been a profoundly difficult year for me, 2024. For personal reasons I cannot get into publicly. For professional reasons I've spoken about elsewhere (feeling increasingly isolated from Actual Play as an artistic community and industry).

But in this one area--claiming my own satisfaction of the work and using that to guide my own way forward--I am content.

[kreumiya]

★・fever dream part 2

Fever Dream Part 1

The dreaded day was here — well, not entirely dreaded as you would be able to be by Sunday’s side <i>publicly </i>. You let yourself get dressed in your fanciest of clothing and it seemed that Sunday’s fever had come down quite a lot.

“I told you I’d be fine,” he sighed, “you worry too much.” He appeared in his signature suit, which you thought definitely needed a change once in a while. “Plus, <i>even</i> if I still had a fever, I’d have to appear in front of the masses, wouldn’t I?”

You agreed, being a part of The Family meant that you had to keep control of the masses and make sure that there weren’t any cracks in the facade they had built up. But that really wasn’t any of your business, you were just an assistant… <i>right?</i> 

“Yeah, it’s a shame how you can’t take any breaks,” you mumbled. “Well at least you can go to the banquet with me, that’s a positive.” You flashed him a grin, hoping it’d uplift the mood between you two. 

“At least I do,” he smiled. 

-

You didn’t know it’d be <I>this</i> nerve wracking. Well of course Sunday had told you many times that “it’ll be alright” and that “it’s just a banquet” but it didn’t stop your heart from beating faster than ever as you walked into the hall, filled to the brim with esteemed guests from all across the universe. It seemed as if you were just a drop of water in the ocean as you trailed behind Sunday. 

After seeing some familiar faces in the crowd like the Nameless, which you had seen across the news despite not knowing anything about them. What seemed to be Misha – and a purple haired woman next to him. The Iris family had seemed to be putting on an interesting performance on the stage and it seemed that the roar and bustle of the entire galaxy seemed to be gathered in the banquet hall. Servants with large trays of champagne and appetisers roamed the spaces between crowds and you seemed to almost walk directly into Sunday when you turned to make your way to your table.

“Hm?” he said, turning around to get a good look at you. “Care for a dance?” You smiled, who could decline an offer to dance by <i>the</i> Sunday himself? He took you by the hand, pulling you to the centre of the ballroom. Illuminated by the lights shining down on you both. It was oddly romantic and the whole world seemed to be spinning just for you, at least tonight anyway. Step by step you two waltzed across the ballroom, with you occasionally stepping on his foot, not like he seemed to mind anyway. You gripped his hand tightly, noticing how the light emitted by the chandelier accentuated his features. His blue hair and wings fluttered as you two moved. 

Sunday finished off the short-lived waltz, saving himself from any more toe-stepping, by taking your hand and pressed a kiss on it. It really felt like you were in a dream – well you technically <I>were</i> but it all seemed so unreal, too unreal. But it was oh so very real and you felt your face getting noticeably redder and hotter. You felt like you were the one having a fever now instead of Sunday. He gave you a soft grin, and you definitely could see that he knew the effect he could have on you. Soon he disappeared into the crowd, swarmed by visitors and some members of the Bloodhound and Alfalfa families. You went to join Misha at the table and soon fell into deep conversation, the encounter from earlier never truly leaving your mind. 

highkey this doesn't even relate to having a fever i just wanted to make wordplay!!!! anyways when will sunday leaks come out im actually in need of them 😭 😭  enjoy this for now!!!!!

[thebenjiblackwoodexpress]

Jump then Fall prt.6

Description: Aeron must win back the heart of Y/N after breaking her trust, but he must also deal with his unwanted betrothal to Roslyn Tully in order to be with the woman he loves.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Warnings: female reader, pure angst, Canon typical misogyny, mentions of slut shaming, slight non-con kiss.

ℑ'𝔩𝔩 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔤𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔰, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔰𝔥𝔢'𝔩𝔩 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔉𝔬𝔬𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔬𝔫𝔢~ 𝔗𝔞𝔶𝔩𝔬𝔯 𝔖𝔴𝔦𝔣𝔱

Y/N had not wanted to dance with Edmund Bracken, he was pompous and had little respect for those he viewed below his station, which included her and her family. But he was part of Aeron's family and she would at least try to be amicable for him. Shooting Aeron an apologetic glance, she allowed Edmund to take hold of her hand and waist to turn her about the room.

"You seem very close with my cousin Ser Aeron, Y/N." Of course he would never address her as "My lady" as Aeron always had, he had no such respect.

"We have been since we were children and I should hope that it's obvious that we love one another."

"Did he tell you that?"

"What?"

"That he loved you?" Y/N was dumbfounded by Edmund's question. Of course Aeron had told her he loved her, they were very open about their love for one a other, she did not see a reason to hide it when she was certain they both felt the same for one another.

"I do not take your meaning Ser" she spoke through gritted teeth.

Edmund simply shot her a smile that was all teeth with no warmth. "Only that I'd be wary of how publicly you have expressed your...affection for one another. I do not wish to be the one to tell you that my Lord Uncle has promised his hand to another. I am sure that he does love you in his own way if he has said so."

Y/N was furious that Aeron's own cousin would speak such lies about him, spew such vitriol, attempt to stain his honour in such a despicable manner. He could never understand the faith she had in Aeron, their bond of trust unbreakable.

She was sure her face must look like a stormcloud and she spat back "You lie."

Before she could get another word out to defend the man she loved Aeron had cut in and wrapped her in his arms, with Edmund mumbling a final case for her to consider what he had said. So happy was she to dance with Aeron after he had so oft avoided her at his uncle's banquets, falsely believing his feelings to be unrequited, she was able to cast Edmund's taunts from her mind entirely.

That was until the world came crashing down around Y/N as Lord Bracken revealed to the whole hall how foolish she had been to believe the word of any man, even one she had trusted since childhood and loved almost all of her life.

She could bear to look at Aeron for only a second before she swiftly fled the hall, not caring what any of the guests thought of her. From his pleading look she was sure he would follow her and so she tried to prepare herself to do that which was hardest, to safeguard her heart and reputation from any further damage she would have to place a wall between them that could never be pulled down.

Aeron ignored his Uncle's shouts and the shocked expressions of the guests gathered in the hall, sprinting out so fast he almost tripped over several times in his desperation to reach Y/N and explain everything. He quickly caught up with his lady, wrapping an arm around her waist to halt her movements at the end of the hallway atop the stairwell that would lead her out of his home. His words were frantic, his heart beating wildly in his chest. "Y/n please, I beg of you to let me explain." Y/N pushed him away from her, whipping her head around to fix him with a glare so fierce but full of sadness. Tears streamed down her face already and he thought he would die at the devastation and distrust evident upon her face, all which he had caused. "Did you know?" Each word was enunciated so he could not misunderstand her question.

He had to force himself to answer, to admit that he had in fact known about this farcical betrothal and kept it from her. He had of course never meant to go through with it, he'd been under the impression that his Uncle had forgotten about it entirely once he'd stormed from his halls. He was struck by his own selfishness and carelessness, to Y/N of all people, the one person he had always wanted to put her faith in him. Taking a deep breath, aware that his next words would irrecovably alter the already tenuous invisible string of fate he had always believed tied them together, he spoke. "Yes, but you must believe me when I say that I never entertained even for a moment the idea of marrying any other but you. I could and would never." In that moment Aeron knew that no explanation would ever be enough to atone for what he had done. As her face fell into a look of utter despair, he felt the invisible string break as she lost her trust in him and cut the cord herself. He wanted her to rail at him, shout at him, strike him even if it would make her feel better, though he knew she was much too gentle for it. Anything but the tears and look of utter betrayal she now bore which cut him to the quick.

Her voice came out so soft and broken it sent an acute pain through his chest, through his very soul, to know that he had hurt her so deeply. "I defended you. I trusted you. You wanted to know what your cousin said to me. He told me that you were already betrothed, that you had no intention of marrying me, that everyone knew it too. I trusted you so completely, wanted you so desperately that I would not believe it. But he was right, you had no intention of ever marrying me. Indeed it is I who have been foolish, you never made me any such promises."

Aeron floundered briefly at a loss for how to comfort his Y/N, to prove his love for her. He would get on his knees and profess it over and over if he had to. "Y/n please don't believe for even a second that I would ever cast you aside for another. I have only ever wanted you. I have never and will never love another." He could hear the desperation in his own voice, his throat restricted and closing up, thick with his own tears. His words did nothing to assuage Y/N's anger however. "Love isn't enough Aeron, not for an unmarried woman and truthfully I don't understand how you could have ever loved me and yet kept something so essential a secret. I gave you my heart so publicly. Even that Blackwood who attacked me knew the truth of it better than myself" she muttered the last part and shock jolted through him at her remembrance of the Blackwood bastard calling her a whore. He found he could barely breathe at such a horrific notion, that he could have had anything but pure intentions towards her.

He spoke his next words carefully, looking into her eyes all the while in the hopes that she would read the veracity of them in his eyes. "My intention has always been to marry you, my love for you always pure. Anyone who doubts it cannot see with their eyes. Do you not understand the depth of my feelings for you, how my heart beats as one with yours?" In an act of pure desperation he feverishly pulled her to him and kissed her with an intensity that caught her off guard. It took Y/N a couple of seconds to react before she forcibly shoved him from her. Aeron's intention had been to pour all of the love he felt for into this kiss and allay Y/N's fears that there could be anyone but her for him, but he instantly knew that he had done the wrong thing as she pushed him again. Had she not just told him of her fears for her reputation, her wariness of his true intentions? He was a fool to think any physical comfort could have convinced her that his feelings for her had a stronger foundation than mere attraction.

Y/n was incensed, to kiss her now after what she'd just said. It was almost cruel. He made no move to stop her as she pushed him in the chest a third time before letting out an agonising sob and turning her head away from him. He stood a few paces apart from her, his head bowed downward. He tried to restrain himself from reaching out to embrace her as he heard her laboured breathing and saw her try to steady it with a hand on her chest, concerned she would faint. "How can I acquit myself to you" He begged solemnly, his voice coming out weaker than he had intended. Y/N turned fully back to him to drive a dagger straight through his already broken heart with her words. "What you've done cannot be undone. I wish for you to never touch me again. Do not follow me." And to respect her wishes he remained where he stood to watch the only woman he would ever love flee from him a second time that night.

He waited for hours each day underneath their favoured meeting place, the familiar leaves of the golden brackentree doing nothing to calm his perpetually racing thoughts and growing despair as another day passed where he did not see his love, did not hear her voice. It was on the fifth day when he next saw Y/N as she made her way up the hill to their tree, her head turned downward. He dared to hope that she had sought him out. But no, she looked surprised and quite frankly alarmed to see him as she finally looked upon reaching the summit of the hill. Perhaps she had also hoped to find solace here where they had both once been so happy. Aeron quickly stumbled to his feet, hoping she would allow him to explain himself better this time and to regain her favour. But to his dismay she immediately turned back whence she had come and walked at a brisk pace away from him. This time he did not idly stand by but pursued her with long strides.

"Y/N I have loved you since I've known you. Please do not doubt it. You have been a part of every hope and dream, every waking thought and it has always been my greatest desire that you should be my wife and Lady Bracken."

Aeron followed Y/N ceaselessly down the hill, though she did not slow her pace or look back at him once. Reluctant to touch her or invade her space as he had mistakenly attempted at the banquet, all he could do was beg her to listen to his entreaties. A glimmer of hope etched its way into his heart when Y/N suddenly halted at the base of the hill but it was quickly dashed by her expression, an admixture of despair and anger that pulled at his heartstrings and made him hate himself more than he already did for causing the woman he loved such pain with his utter carelessness. She spoke but a few words to him but they struck him like a blow and echoed in his mind days after. "I do not wish to speak to you or see you ever again Ser, if you ever cared for me at all I ask that you respect my wishes and never approach me hence." Y/N's voice trembled on the last few words, but she was resolute. Nonetheless he pleaded "Please do not order me away from your side" losing any semblance of restraint and pulling her back towards his chest, one hand wrapped around her shoulders as he placed his head upon her shoulder, the other gripping her waist to hold her against him. Y/N was swift to remove herself from his arms, Aeron quickly dropping them once he felt her shifting. He would not keep her there against her will.

Y/N let in a shaky breath as she tried to hold in a sob but said no more, merely walking in the direction of her home. Aeron stood rooted to the spot, praying to the gods that she would glance back at him, even while knowing she would not. 

Another week passed where Aeron had no word from Y/N, despite the various missives he had sent by raven, hoping they would be more acceptable to her than seeing him at present. He could barely eat or sleep, so consumed was he by his grief as he started to believe he had really lost his love. That he could not win her back. His uncle remained insistent on the matter of his betrothal to Roslyn Tully, although upon his return to the banquet Hall where Y/N had fled she had made it clear that she had no more desire to marry him than he had her. This renewed his hope in swaying his uncle's mind peaceably. He would not marry anyone but Y/N, he'd sooner put himself to the sword and had threatened his uncle with as much.

With so much time alone to think he began to believe the true problem lay in the tensions between the Blackwoods and Brackens to begin with. They'd fought for so long they hardly knew what for. We're they truly to destroy one another over feuding Targaryen rulers so far from the Riverlands? A strange occurrence had him questioning everything he had ever believed about duty and loyalty, about the hatred of the Blackwoods he had inherited. Two days past, Benjicot Blackwood had arrived at the front entrance to his halls cradling his dearest cousin in his arms and looking at her like she was that most precious to him in the whole world. He had known then that it was a look of love, he was sure he'd looked at Y/N just the same. Taking his cousin from Benjicot's arms, careful not to jostle her injured ankle too badly, he discovered a newfound respect for the future lord of Raventree and ordered his uncle's bannermen to let him pass freely back into Blackwood land.

If he could treat with the Blackwood heir, perhaps they could forge an alliance that would put an end to the years of strife and conflict that had cost both sides so much already. It was a bold idea, but one that would no doubt save countless lives and secure both Aeron and Benjicot the chance to marry the women they loved without the pressing weight of political alliances and boundary stones to hinder them.

He jolted up from his slumped position on his desk and scrambled to find paper and ink for the two letters he was about to write. One would go to Raventree, an appeal to Benjicot Blackwood to treat with him on the boundary lines that separated their lands and Houses. The other would go to Y/N. He was not certain he would ever be able to make amends or earn her love back, but he owed it to them both to share this wild idea of his that she might understand his pure intentions towards her, that his love for her had always been true. He had spent hours upon hours pacing back and forth, writing and rewriting his letters to her, considering how each word might be interpreted. This time he knew exactly what he wanted to say, so sure was he in the course he had set. With a final flourish of his quill, he blew on the parchment to dry the ink and rolled up the letter which contained within it all his hopes for future happiness.

My Dearest Love,

I realise that no promises or professions of love will sway your heart and I understand now that they could never have sufficed for what I have done. I will offer you tangible proof of my love instead so that if you cannot bring yourself to love me once again, you will have no doubt of my truest intentions or the depth of my love for you, which reaches farther than the ancient roots of the Brackentree where first we met. I think often of my good luck in being the one to catch you that day and for every moment since with you. I will treat with the heir to Raventree in the hopes that we may put aside our ancient grievances to forge a new path of peace between our two Houses and, gods willing, avert a terrible conflict. Should I fail in this admittedly bold undertaking, I will assure you now that nothing will or ever could have persuaded me to marry Roslyn Tully, an act which would have ensured the perpetual misery of three parties.

With all the love that I possess,

Your Good Knight

I actually had so much fun writing this, weirdly think I'm most comfortable writing angst over fluff. It must be the track 5 girlie in me (for all my fellow swifties).

@lovebabe18 @poppyflower-22 @ithilwen-blackwood @spinachtz @lady-callisto @twistytimesandthoughts @abookloverlawyerfan-blog @mymoonempress @alexandracgg

[ravenstargames]

✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #11 | 05.08.24

AHA! Nope, we didn't forget about April's devlog. In fact, we have been busier than ever—doing early preparations for our Kickstarter, working on the demo, sorting out legal stuff...

Speaking of which...

This month we have been really busy making our studio official by the law! Now, to pay taxes and cry! YAY!

We are very very excited about it—and also terrified! We are still sorting out the studio's bank account, as burocracy isn't the fastest thing in this world, sadly. This is the first thing I wanted to talk about in this devlog, because it's such fantastic news for us! :')

Now, let's jump on the process we've made this past month, shall we? ✨

This past month, Raquel worked very hard on our second Key Art. This was originally made for Steam, but I modified the format a bit so it could also be used in other places! I honestly love this one—we have our first Key Art to represent the darker aspects of the game, and then this one to show off the characters' dynamics! Not everything's going to be horror and mystery in the game!✨💜

Also, we have been working on designing the merch for the Kickstarter, but we can't show anything yet. All we can say is that everything is looking gorgeous and we are so excited to share it eventually!

Thanks to Airyn, we've made great progress with the backgrounds! In fact, there's only one left to finish. The one you see above needs a few final touches (that will be made by yours truly!), and then I'll animate it a bit to get it ready for the build! The rest of the backgrounds are finished, animated, and integrated in the build :3

The survey icon is missing, but it'll be there!

Well, this should tell you everything you need to know when it comes to programming! The whole demo is programmed. Functional. Nothing crashes. Stuff works and I'm over cloud nine. I have been working on the final touches (revisiting scenes, checking sprites, music / sfx volume...) and the beta testing phase will begin soon. Soon as in tomorrow.

We've mainly used this month to review the auditions we received for our casting call, contacting the selected VAs, etc. Every VA has accepted their role, received the document with the lines we'll need for the demo, and we'll work hard to announce the cast publicly as soon as possible! We want to at least do a promotional short video showcasing every LI and their VA!

Sadly, making the studio official has (and will) take more time than we anticipated, and as we want to release the demo on Steam, the review process will most likely slow us down. There's the option of doing an itchio release and then a Steam one, but I'm not sure if that'll hurt the project. We are still keeping the demo release date a secret, until things settle down!

Also, I couldn't finish this devlog without talking about the Magic & Mystery Otome cross-promotion! ✨ We were invited by the amazing folks at Best Laid Plans Studios to participate in this event that showcases 12 amazing visual novels like Alaris, Obscura, Dual Chroma and more! I know I have been pretty annoying with this (can you blame me, though?!) so I won't keep rambling about it—just check everyone out, please!

I think that's all! Well, that's not all, but we gotta keep a bit of mystery surrounding the demo! We have been busy bees this month, with the making of the studio, the polishing of the demo, contacting and coordinating the VAs...

We are so excited for the demo release. I'm personally excited and terrified, but blame it on the OCD. I keep jumping from catastrophic scenario to catastrophic scenario. I'll have no control over what happens when the demo goes live, but I have control on what I can do before that happens—and that's working as hard as I've been doing this whole time.

And that's it! Please take care, enjoy the week, and stay hydrated. The Raventar team, NOW AN OFFICIAL STUDIO, wishes you all the best and sends a huge hug your way! 💜

[one-idea]

Horrible idea, but:

Marineford au, in which everyone survived. (At least on whitebeards side. Something Something Marco awakening his devil fruit after seeing his family die around him)

Happy end, right?

Exept that Ace is going through major Angst because A) realization that the family he loves would (and could) have died because of him and B) the uprise of people trying to assassinate him.

No matter where he goes, everyone knows who and (more importantly) whose son he is.

He is seen as the son of the devil, a demon that shouldn't have been born

There isn't a place in the world where he is safe, no matter how much his family tries .

This!

So here’s the thing. I have always seen Ace survives Marineford as having this problem. Everyone now knows who he is.

The government wants him dead. His bounty is going to sky rocket and while we normally see that as a good thing it’s not because of any feat he has done. He hasn’t earned his bounty. And that would hurt. He’s tried his whole life to separate himself from his father and now all of his accomplishments are forever over shadowed by his blood.

It’s also dangerous because his abilities are now over stated (to the general public and other crews) we see in the show how people react to Luffy and the crews different bounties and how much they are treated like a threat or a joke. If Ace’s bounty sky rockets because of his connection to Roger and not his skill the people coming after him are planning to take down someone of let’s say Kaido’s strength and Ace isn’t there. (We are seeing this with Buggy and Cross Guild in the cannon where Buggy’s strength doesn’t match his bounty. And while we are making memes out of it the man has to be stressed)

The Whitebeard’s can try to shield him but they aren’t what they used to be. Even if Whitebeard survives they got out by the skin of their teeth and the arrival of Shanks. While Marineford is them fighting on enemy territory with a mass disadvantage it’s still going to effect the reputation. And even if Whitebeard loved he’s not fighting fit and the world knows that. Marcos and the crew can probably repeal some people but can they full shield Ace the way they could before the war? No.

In fact it would probably be a constant struggle for the next two years. Maybe at some point Ace disappears for a while but in reality he’s met up with Rayleigh and Luffy and joined in on training up his Haki. (And spending time with his little brother)

By the time Luffy and crew are ready to hit the sea again, Ace’s life is in constant danger. And remains so until Wano. Wano where his baby brother beats the pants off of Kaido and becomes the new emperor of the sea. The new emperor of the sea who has a very public tigh to Ace and has already destroyed Enies Lobby to get back one crew member, successfully broke into and out of Impel Down leading a large prison break to Marineford where he publicly declared Ace his brother and fought to save him once already.

Now it’s not the Whitebeard name shielding Ace but Luffy’s. It’s not being the son of the King of the Pirates that gives him infamy but being the brother of the future king of the pirates Monkey D. Luffy. Even if Luffy doesn’t publicly declare Ace as under his protection you would have to be stupid not to understand that these two would go to war for one another.

Honestly Whitebeard’s statues probably got downgraded depending on how badly they got their butts handed to them in the first place. They might join up as part of the Strawhat grand fleet. Whitebeard just wants to protect his kids and at this point he’s old, injured and not what he used to be. It Strawhat has already shown his loyalty to those that are his and Ace is already his.

Of Whitebeard can’t make a run for King of the Pirates anymore. Can’t protect his children and territories he might as well through his hat in with the person he knows is going to take care of them. Someone so much like Roger’s who believes in freedom above all else. (Shanks would be his second choice but the man has to many of his own plans. And it’s kind of obvious that Shanks has through his hat (or his arm) into Luffy’s ring long ago)

Now that’s idea one but idea 2

But this is where we get to have some fun with abilities, timelines, and shenanigans. Because let’s say Marcos’s phenixes ability when awakened is not just to heal but to burn away trauma for the point he can revive someone. When did the revival happen? Because if this happened at Marineford the Whitebeard’s get a second wind and can probably pull out a win in the fight. But everyone knows they survived and who Ace is.

If he does it after the fight. After Ace dies in front of Luffy and Luffy is whisked away. After the Whitebeards retreat. Looking over the bodies and grieving the loss, Marco unlocks his ability. Receiving Ace, Whitebeard, and the others, now we have some shenanigans.

Because Luffy doesn’t know that Ace is alive and Ace doesn’t know Luffy is alive. Maybe Ace lost his fruit maybe home didn’t but we can tackle that later.

The Whitebeards are hanging low until they get their strength back. No one in the government knows they survived and that’s the way it needs to stay. Until Luffy shows back up at Marineford to honor Ace.

Ace sees the news paper and he thought Luffy had died. He knew Jinbei had taken him away from the battle but no one could tell him where Luffy went or if he had survived his injuries. He wants to rush to Luffy and make sure his brother is okay. Marco has to tell him to slow down. If he races out and the world realizes he survived before he’s back at full strength he will just get captured again. But Ace is stubborn about seeing Luffy and making sure he’s okay.

They know he went to Marineford with Rayleigh so they use some connections to find the old man. He’s not about to tell them where Luffy is until Ace reveals himself. He agrees to take just Ace to see Luffy. After a reunion filled with tears Ace decides that the best way to build back up his strength is to stay and train with Luffy.

Now fruit? Did they keep their abilities? They technically died. So either yes they kept them, they lost them, or Marco restored their body and powers but the fruit also exist outside of them so two people can now have that ability. (Meaning Sabo can still get the Mera Mera and Blackbeard still gets Whitebeard’s fruit.) this is helpful to keep the story moving but also reinforcing the lie that the Whitebeards died.

If this is the case Ace and Luffy train their Haki and abilities together for two years. When Luffy is finally ready to burst back o to the scene so is Ace. Stronger than ever.

Again maybe the Whitebeard’s eventually join the grand fleet. If the world thought they were dead they don’t have their statues as emperor crew anymore but they would be a lot stronger in this version.

In both versions they Whitebeard’s help out with Wano and Ace and Sabo get to reunite.

[greenduvet]

flowers she gave him pt. 1

A/N: Hi loves!! So excited to finally share this story that has been brewing in my head for what feels like forever. I haven’t posted any of my writing publicly for years! So this is a big step for me, and I just couldn’t keep these thoughts to myself any longer. I want to say the biggest thank you to @luiscarrutherss and @galarian-weezing-on-prep for not only reading the early draft but making me feel excited to write and share my story. Also my girlfriend for helping me edit and watching succession. This will be a friends to lovers slow burn, so if that’s your jam like mine stick around! Anyways, enjoy mwah!

The floor was silent. Most people had gone home hours ago, the lights off in most offices. It was always so odd this time of night — looking out over all the different worlds happening just below, life continued on so vividly yet it felt so stiff and halted here.

It wasn’t the plan to have been here this late. Really he should have picked you up hours ago, the dinner reservation that had been made earlier this week now way past check in.

The reservation was Roman’s idea. Maybe a poor attempt at an apology, the only way a Roy knew how to apologize — dance around it yet never letting it fully resolve. You were used to it by now, a lifetime of Roman had made you well familiar. Yet this time felt different. Roman for once in his life was being distant, independent. He would blame it on work, family, stress, but you knew him better than that.

Tearing your eyes from the window, you look at your phone. Still nothing from Roman, not even a heads up that he would be an hour late to the aforementioned reservation. The thought of sending another ignored text filled you with a sense of irritation. Why wait here when you could see him face to face?

Without a second thought you haphazardly throw your things into your bag, muttering softly to yourself. The lights of your borderline clinical office flick off as you shut the door.

The way to Romans office was nearly tattooed in your brain from years of walking back and forth. Though your office was just down the hall, tonight it felt like a dreadful journey into unfamiliar territory. This wasn't how the night was supposed to go.

Turning the corner you could see him through the thick glass walls. He was staring at his computer, full attention to whatever was on the screen. You swear you had never seen him work so hard in his life… or at least pretend to work this hard. With a soft sigh, you walk into the office and stop in front of his desk, his eyes not once glancing from the screen.

“Late night?” The tone of your voice is dry, maybe a bit sarcastic. You weren’t used to this Roman, the detached, focused type. He had always been clingy, willing to throw his work down as soon as you had walked in.

Even standing directly in front of him, his eyes still never move from the screen. Moving his free hand from the desk to run through his already tousled hair, he hums softly, not bothering to give a full response.

Another sigh leaves your mouth and you turn to take a seat on the piece of foam covered in velvet they called a couch, there more for decor than actual comfort.

~~~

While your back is turned, Roman’s eyes glance quickly to you. The perfect image of a long day, he watched as you slowly dropped your bag without a thought. The whole day he had fought the urge to text you and watched the minutes tick past the planned reservation. He didn’t understand why he was doing this, pushing you away and trying to hurt you. Yet he felt like he was the only one hurting here.

As quick as his eyes lingered on you they were back on the screen, looking at the same report sheet he had been rereading for over an hour now. The sight of you settling on the couch out of the corner of his eye made his brows furrow softly. Why was he doing this again?

“Uh, ya know, Dad had me do some stuff.” He mumbles softly in response, his voice high in octave and almost tense. God, he didn’t even believe himself. He rips the hand in his hair down and begins to rapidly type something on the computer, trying his best to sell his stupid ‘busy’ act. You weren’t buying it, but it was unspoken that you and Roman never really did feelings — maybe that's why you were still so close.

~~~

Sighing, you pull your phone out and slip off the uncomfortable shoes you were wearing. It seems like Roman won’t be finished anytime soon, so neither will you.

The two of you work in a tense but comfortable silence, you clearing old emails and roman rapidly slamming keys. It was routine, though it didn’t keep you from noticing that what was once so familiar was now slowly changing. The silence still comfortable, yet more deafening than before.

“We had a reservation for tonight, did you forget?” Your voice breaks the silence, addressing the elephant in the room. Panning your view to roman, you can tell the question makes him squirm. The vein on his forehead bulged, his eyes widening ever so slightly at the screen.

You wait to hear some poor excuse, something around how it wasn’t his fault or to fuck off… but it never comes. Roman just continues to slam on the keys, the discomfort only growing on his face.

Sitting up, you nearly roll your eyes for what feels like the hundredth time of the night. You didn’t have time to waste sitting twiddling your thumbs to expect a coherent response from Roman when he obviously wasn't interested in giving you one. Slipping on your tight shoes, you grab your bag and rise wordlessly.

You look at Roman, hoping for something. For him to look at you, acknowledge that you were here for him. His eyes remained glued to the screen, though it seems like there is a deeply rooted panic there. 5...10…30 seconds go by and he does nothing.

The voice in your head repeating a mantra of fuck this over and over finally wins, and you turn to the door to leave. Though it hurt, you were tired of this back and forth. That, and your bed sounded much more appealing than the stone couch.

~~~

The second you leave Romans office, his eyes tear from the screen to your disappearing figure. The feeling of panic that had been bubbling in his chest all week started to explode into a deeper fear — you were walking away. He knew he deserved it, but still — what the fuck? Part of him thinks to leave you be and ignore your texts again, but his heart is screaming at him to follow you, chase after you and stop pushing you away like he had been for weeks.

He rises from his desk, leaving his computer unlocked and hastily makes it over to where you’d gone off to.

~~~

It feels like the elevator is taking forever on purpose. Maybe to taunt you for waiting for Roman, or maybe because deep down you had hoped he would come after you. Still, you waited for the doors to open so you could forget about today and the weird feeling in your chest at your best friend ignoring you. Why did it feel like you might actually lose him this time? Roman had seen you through your worst, and you’d seen him through his. But this dynamic was new, and didn’t feel like something you could recover from.

Finally, the high pitched ding breaks you from your thoughts, the doors sliding open to the luxury elevator awaiting you. Stepping in, you scan your badge and wait to be taken to ground level once again. Wine sounded good tonight, lots of it.

The doors begin to close, but before they can shut a hand is shoved between them, forcing them to open. Roman. He was there, face slightly flushed. It was funny, because Roman had never been the one to chase after you originally.

~~~

The sun felt hot – almost scorching. It was the end of June and finally it was starting to feel like summer in the hamptons. The backyard seemed to stretch on forever and was decked in long tables covered in lavish meals. This was a yearly event Logan held for his “partners” and their families — It was for the people who knew where the bodies were hidden. The whole ‘get away’ was to keep them close.

Though the event was mostly filled with adults, a few children were scattered around. A boy almost in his older teens, one a few years younger doing his best to fit in with the adults. An even younger boy with messy hair and big eyes, a young girl with fiery red hair, and lastly another girl who didn’t really fit in with the others. Yet that didn’t stop her from trying.

“Roman! Look at this – it's a worm!” You held out the stick with a worm dangling from it, the soft blue dress hanging on your tiny frame most definitely ruined. The wide grin on your face only grew as Romans eyes widened in disgust as he turned in the opposite direction. You would only start to chase after him again in response, as you had all afternoon.

This was a game between just you and Roman — you bugged, poked, nagged, and in response he would run away, gag, and ignore. For some reason your tiny brain just never got the memo that he couldn’t stand you. Things were easier back then. Innocent.

The sound of a loud bell stops you in your steps, Roman halting ahead of you. Dinner time. Placing the worm gently back to the ground you follow the children you came to know as the Roys.

The feeling of eyes on you from your parents and other bodies burnt like fire on your skin as you approached the dinner table. You hadn’t meant to dirty the dress, but running through the vast yard with the people you called “friends” had made you forget — forget that this was a performance, and that you needed to set a good example so that your family could stand out. Your mother would have words to say about this later.

Each child slid into their assigned seat at their own table away from the adult conversations happening at the other, longer table. You couldn’t help but feel a little relieved — you didn’t fully understand that whole world yet at the ripe age of 5, but you knew enough to be bored. Shiv felt the same way you did, her face more relaxed now than it had been at the sound of the ringing bell.

Roman’s seat was the one next to yours, and it was made obvious by the soft groan that left his mouth when he saw the tag of his name next to yours. Dramatically, he pulled his chair from the table, each action over dramatized and nearly throwing his body into the seat. Though the sour look didn't last long on his face as his eyes panned over to you and your dirty blue dress.

“Mommy and Daddy won’t be very happy with that, now will they?” The sour look fades from his face, a devilish grin replacing it. His tone is teasing and rude. It wasn’t anything new with Roman, though. The only attention he spared to give you was the more unpleasant kind. But it didn’t stop your obsession with trying to break him down and play with you.

You return his comment with a pout and look away from him, your hands finding themselves busy undoing the neatly folded table napkin at your place setting. Gently your fingers pull it apart, corner by corner. Finally you place it gently on your lap, your head high as you reply. “It was an accident. Maybe if you played nice, I wouldn't be messy.”

Roman was almost surprised with the response he was met with, a little smirk filled his lips. He couldn’t help but feel put in his place. He nodded to himself, taking the napkin and ripping the cloth out of its fold. Vastly different from the way you had done it with so much meaning. Maybe you weren’t as annoying as Roman thought.

The dinner was pretty tame. The children made soft conversation about various topics — the summer vacations they had planned, the extracurriculars, the movies they wanted to see. While the adults stuck to business conversation, how it always was and would be. It felt nice though, for once being around other children who somewhat understood your lifestyle. That, and it was a lot better than the company of your au pair.

After dinner, you find yourself with Shiv in the garden playing a game of fairies while running around the well maintained garden of roses. The sound of your feet against the gravel and shared giggles is all that can be heard — a pure moment of childhood innocence. Your dress slowly changed into one more brown than blue, Shiv’s own dress dirtying as well. It didn’t matter though, because for once you were just girls playing.

Logan’s booming voice rips you and Shiv from the moment. You can’t make out anything he is saying, but the both of you know it can't be good. You look to Shiv but her eyes are already on your face, wide and crystal blue. Then you hear it clear as day, the only word that mattered. Roman.

Looking around, you find a flower from one of the many bushes and pluck it gently, making sure to not damage any petals. You didn’t know Roman well yet but you knew well enough that this was normal. The sound of Logan's booming voice most times directed at him, as he seemed to always be the easiest target. Though, there was something about this time that felt worse than the others.

Without a second thought you run off, away from Shiv and the flower garden, carefully cradling the small white flower in your palm. The soft sound of sniffling guiding where to go, eventually leading you to the side of the oversized house.

There he was — sitting on the floor, knees to his chest, and a hand holding his cheek in pain. The spitting image of a kicked puppy.

This was worse than the other times.

Wordlessly you sit next to Roman, eyes not daring to look at him, but glued to the wall with ivy overgrowing. Before Roman can protest or run away, you bring the small white flower into view. A smile fills your lips before placing the flower onto his knee with all the care in the world.

That was the moment everything changed.

~~~

The elevator doors open fully and Roman steps into it with you. Your name falls from his lips as his hands comb through his hair for the umpteenth time that night. “Look– Fuck. Let’s just grab dinner, okay? There’s gotta be someplace still open and half edible around the block.”

You can tell he is trying his best to contain his expression and stay in control of the moment, but he's failing. Miserably.

His hazel eyes watery and nearly pleading, begging you to look at him and forgive him for being a total ass.

Looking him up and down, you hesitate. Maybe to make him sweat or to make him feel how you did all day, you weren’t sure.

“Wherever we go, I want hashbrowns.” You tear your eyes away from roman and click the button that would take you to the lobby. Immediately there is air in the elevator again, Roman’s pleading eyes vanishing. He always seemed to get his way with you.

[malk1ns]

hi, i’m pretty new to hrpf. i’ve seen a lot of rule 63 fics within the fandom - at least, a lot more in comparison to some of the other fandoms that i’ve been in. i was curious why people in the hrpf fandom like rule 63? i’m not as familiar with it 😅 thanks!

this is an interesting question! i haven't really looked to see if proportionally there are more rule63 fics here than in other fandoms, and i am by no means an expert—although i don't think anyone can claim to be an expert on why other people write what they write—but i thought about this all morning and i have a few theories!

for me at least (although i haven't written rule63 yet myself), writing fic is a lot about putting these guys in Scenarios. we have a pretty good idea of what they're (publicly) like, and i think RPF as a whole tends to focus more on 'how do the people in the story react' as opposed to 'how can the world of the story be built out'—because these are real people we're writing about (kind of...), to me at least it's more interesting to say, ok i 'know' sid and geno (or at least the way i like to write sid and geno when i'm not doing a specific characterization), what would my sid and my geno do if they were in scenario x, or if situation y happened to them. it's almost reactive, you know? less about let's build a story and plop these more static characters from fiction into them, more about how can i continue to evolve these real dudes who we've seen evolve over the years based on the situation i invented for them. i might be alone in that but the more i thought about this while i was vacuuming today the more it made sense to me, even though i don't think this is consciously how i was writing—i do think this is how i approach THIS fandom vs others i've been in.

so, rule63 is sort of....we know sid, we know geno. what if one of them was a girl? and it's such an INTERESTING scenario to put them in, because we know them basically exclusively in the context of the NHL, and the NHL is all men. so what is that like for a woman to be introduced into the ecosystem, especially at the stature sid and geno are? how does that change their reputation, their day-to-day, the way they interact with their friends and teammates and the media and the fans? we have SO much source material of how they are to build off, so tweaking gender is just another way we can put those guys in situations and extrapolate on what would happen.

does this make any sense at all? idk when i think about the girl sid fic idea i have a LOT of it is going to be about how is sid perceived and how does she move in this world that's all men except her, and how does that affect her. and i think when i put that together with what i was ruminating on this morning, it all sort of dovetails and makes sense. you know?

i'd be curious to see what other authors think about this though, both about how RPF is a little different from other fandoms and also rule63 within the hockey RPF space! hope y'all don't mind if i tag you and please don't feel obligated but if you do have thoughts i'd love to hear them...@beggingwolf @plethoriall @yabagofmilfs @cuprun @ellen-shame @al-the-remix @ticklefighthockey @puckluckie @cascara-soda this is by no means an exhaustive list please chime in if you see this and feel so inclined!

also let's not forget that sometimes you want to write idfic and sex and have you seen sid and geno's mouths i just know that they'd know how to use them on each other in the fictional world i build up. sometimes, as freud probably never actually said, a cigar is just a cigar. so to speak.

[apomaro-mellow]

Honestly I was thinking about the end of ofmd s1 and it evolved to this. Steddie; omegaverse

Uhhh, loosely set in the Regency era but not particularly important, trigger warnings for sexual assault, use of date rape drugs

He should have never met Edgar Munson. Society dictated that their paths should never cross. That there would always be at least five degrees of separation between them. But the hands of fate were a stronger force. One that saw fit to have Steve find himself making polite conversation with an alpha below his station. Polite conversation turned to familiarity, which then turned to scandalous flirting, which then became a secret courtship.

Steve received the gifts from his beloved under some sort of cover. No one could know about their relationship. Even the nest offering, the last gift before an official engagement, had to be hidden. Of course they couldn't be publicly wed, not with Steve's family name, not on this continent.

That was how Eddie filled his head with visions of the New World. A place where they could be free and make their own lives. A land where no one knew how different they were.

"Just imagine it", Eddie had said, one morning after a night of lovemaking. "You, me, a pup or two perhaps, and a little corner of our own."

"Mmm, you paint a pretty picture", Steve said while playing with Eddie's hair. And it was a lovely thought. "But how's about three or four? Or maybe even five? I always wanted a big family."

He imagined children frolicking in fields, perfect mixtures of his and Eddie's features. Blissful as they were unaware of the pressures of high society that their dame had come from. Steve would give up the extravagance for all the love Eddie was able to store in this cramped room in a bed that just barely fit them both.

"Whatever my love desires", Eddie kissed him. "Just promise me that you'll run away with me."

"To the ends of the earth", Steve promised, sealing it with a kiss.

As Steve got dressed, Eddie did his damndest to keep him here, where he had eyes laid on him.

"The boat will leave at sunrise tomorrow. You may as well stay."

"If I spend the whole day here, my father will send out a search party. We need to keep suspicion low if I am to be spirited away by you."

"'Spirited away'? By me? That's an odd way of saying you're taking us on a whirlwind trip across the ocean." Considering Steve put up the money for their passage and would be footing most of the bills until they were officially set up with jobs in America, it was more like Steve was taking Eddie on the trip.

"Either way, it would be prudent if I went home and treated today as if it were absolutely average." Meanwhile, an energy would buzz within Steve the whole time.

He was dressed and at the door while Eddie was still in his underthings, holding him tight. Steve was no better, loathe to let him go. How he wished for just one day the hours would pass faster so that they could start their new lives together.

"You have to let me go eventually, love."

"But what if I don't? Steve...my moon and my stars, why part when we will just see each other again?"

"You know why."

"I've got a bad feeling. I've read too many novels where lovers parted with a vow to meet again and they almost never do."

"You know novels rot the mind", Steve said. "And our lives are not fiction. You'll see. I'll go home, have some tea with mother, rebuff Sir Hagan yet again, and get through one last dinner before going off to bed."

Then, under guide of moonlight, he would meet Eddie at the docks just down the street. They could hear the gulls and sailors from here, it was so close they could both taste it.

Eddie's eyes were closed, giving a silent prayer that it would be so. A hope that the only hitch in their plan would be Steve getting seasick. Finally, Steve left and all Eddie had to do was double check what he was packing. There were a few clothes, a couple of items his parents owned before their passing that he was sure his uncle would want to see.

Wayne had gone to the New World just a few years ago, wanting to make the trip before 'his old bones gave out', or so he said. Eddie let out a wistful sigh, getting by as he imagined introducing Steve to his uncle. And hopefully, there would be a bundle of good news on the way. They would be at sea for a few months, after all.

------------------

Steve managed to sneak back into his room, no problem, but the moment he did, he could tell something was off. Steve's nest as usually immaculate, but he caught a whiff of something that shouldn't be there. Tossed right onto his pillow was a monogrammed handkerchief that stunk of Tommy.

He let out a scoff of disgust and picked it up, intending to put it away when he noticed one of his drawers was left open and had been rifled through. In a panic, Steve went towards it to confirm what he already knew. Eddie's nest offering had been a simple piece of cloth that he had scented. A small scrap that Steve imagined putting in a quilt one day.

Gone.

"Ah, there he is, the man of the hour."

Tommy came walking in from Steve's boudoir, right into his bedroom unannounced. Steve was knocked off his axis at the impropriety and even more so as he began to put the pieces together.

"What is this? Wh-why are you here? In my room? I don't understand."

"Don't be so anxious, Stevie. I was bound to find my way in here eventually. Your father was so kind to allow me in so that I could surprise you with my gift."

"My father?", Steve hissed, betrayed. It was all about being proper and following the right customs until doing the opposite suited one, wasn't it? The numerous times his father told him to stay on the straight and narrow, to never allow an alpha to skip steps with him. And now!?

"You haven't even giving me a single courting gift prior. I haven't even given you leave to court me." Then the open drawer came back to his attention. "Have you been going through my things?"

"Found something interesting while I was leaving my gift. Seems somebody snuck in a piece of trash", Tommy pulled Eddie's cloth from his pocket and Steve immediately lunged for it.

Tommy tried to move back but in his desperation Steve overpowered him and took it back, dropping the other handkerchief. Tommy watched as his own favor sat on the ground.

"You really are fucking a peasant, aren't you?"

"I think that's enough, Mr. Hagan", Steve's father, a Mr. Martin Harrington, entered the room.

"How could you let him into my room!?", Steve accused.

"Your room? Now I do believe this house is in my name. And I am within my rights to allow Mr. Hagan into any room I please. As for the courting, I have already given my permission for him to do so. And he has already given you all the gifts required. They're right their in your antechamber. You would have seen them, had you been in your room last night."

Steve held the cloth to his heart. He didn't like where this was going. What the last gift was supposed to mean. "You can't expect me to marry him."

"Oh you will, in about three days time."

"You don't think people will be suspicious about the short engagement?"

"Everyone knows that Mr. Hagan's had his eye on you. And you, of course, have not been entertaining any other suitors", Mr. Harrington's eyes narrowed on what Steve held. "Young love is so passionate these days. I highly doubt anyone will bat an eye at it. It's best you forget about all else and prepare for your wedding. Your mother wants it to be a grand affair."

"Father please-"

"As a matter of fact, I see no reason not to have you both live as newly weds now. Mr. Hagan can stay here until the wedding, where you will be housed in his estate. Keep my Steve out of trouble", he said to Tommy.

Tommy nodded. "Of course."

Steve wanted to cry out but knew it would do him no good. He spent the whole day, trying to plan some sort of escape. But there was always someone with him. That someone was usually Tommy, who looked like he was fine marrying Steve with a broken leg. Night fell and Tommy laid himself in Steve's nest. The one place he had felt safe besides Eddie's arms. Ruined.

Steve opted to sleep in the other room, on a couch most certainly not meant for sleeping. Tommy only urged him a little, seemingly assured that Steve would come around eventually. Steve checked the window and of course there was a man guarding down below. He didn't even have to check the hallway, hearing heavy boots pass over his door every few minutes, making sure no one was coming in or out.

Steve felt his heart clench as the hours pass and the first rays of sun began to shine.

-----------------

Eddie was waiting. The gangway was right behind him and the crew was ready to shove off. He knew only death would keep Steve from being here. Eddie was dreading something worse than death when he saw Jason Carver of all people stepping out of a carriage, looking smug as always.

"Waiting for someone, freak?"

"Where is Steve?", Eddie demanded, cutting through the bullshit.

"He has other more important things to attend to. Marriage can be quite time consuming business. I'm here to make sure you get on that boat."

"Like hell I'm leaving without him!"

Any fight Eddie put up was tamped down by the two lugs Carver had brought along, muscling him into a tight hold as they tied him up with rope and gagged him. Jason only put his hands on him to procure the boarding passes.

"He'll only be needing one of these", Jason said to the captain as Eddie was carried on board, struggling. "You can untie him once you're a good distance from the shore."

Eddie was screaming his lungs out from the gag in his mouth but it was anyone's guess as to what he was actually saying. The captain shook his head, sympathetic, but not enough to help Eddie out or get involved in any way. About an hour into the voyage, he was released and the first thing he did was try and jump overboard.

"Best to let go of whatever you just left behind", the captain said, patting his shoulder as a couple of sailors held him back from jumping into the sea.

"The love of my life is still there! He needs me! They're gonna...fuck...they're gonna..." Eddie knew what awaited Steve in his family had discovered them. He laid his head against the wood, determined to find his way back to him. He knew the captain wouldn't let him take any of the rowboats, and the crew kept watch on him like they expected him to steal it.

Their plan could still work. It didn't matter if they forced him into marriage, Steve would still love him. Eddie was just getting a headstart on building their new life.

-----------------------

The prospect of marrying Tommy under duress made him sick to his stomach but not knowing Eddie's fate made him feel worse. Steve didn't want to believe that Eddie would leave without him, but the alpha himself had admitted there wasn't anything left for him in this town. With him having an uncle overseas, Steve didn't think Eddie planned to stay much longer, even if they hadn't planned to elope.

But if he was still here, he would have shown his face by now, wouldn't he? He wouldn't leave Steve here all alone. Especially when the wedding announcement went out. Steve held out hope, even as his wedding day came, that Eddie would burst in like a blaze and whisk him away.

As if reading his thoughts, his mother brought it up while preparing him for the day. He had mostly tuned her out. She seemed determined to ignore the breach of courting customs in favor of the fact that her only child was finally being wed. A load off her shoulders apparently. But she started talking about her worries about whoever Steve had been running around with and that brought him back in.

"Well, thank the Lord, Mr. Carver put him on a boat. We won't need to worry about him anymore."

"He what?"

"Shipped him right off. Now you only have to think about keeping Mr. Hagan happy. And all the handsome pups you'll have of course."

Steve was a ghost at his own wedding and if anyone noticed, they didn't say anything. He didn't come back into himself until night fell and Tommy tried to make him perform his wifely duties. Steve smacked him across the face at the first slight and kicked him out of the bedroom.

He kept the cold shoulder up for about a week before both his mother and father reprimanded him. Told him that after marriage, his next task was to let his husband lay his seed and continue the family line. The last thing Steve wanted was Tommy's hands on him, much less his seed in him. But he supposed he could let the man sleep in his own bedroom.

Tommy made his favorite tea as a peace offering, placating Steve with sweet words.

"You are my wife, my partner in everything. I only want you to be happy."

Steve wanted to believe that, he really did. And he was tired of putting up a fight. So he drank the tea. It fogged his mind and the rest of the night seemed like a hazy dream. And not a good one. His suspicions were confirmed when he awoke with an ache in his lower body.

Steve started to pack a bag right then and there. He couldn't stay here. Not if this was to be his life. Tears were streaming down his face at the violation. Tommy was just standing to the side, looking at him like he was a petulant child.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Leaving! Like I should have done in the first place."

"And where the hell are you going to go? A runaway omega with no skills, probably with a pup on the way?"

Steve froze and Tommy grinned, advancing on him from behind. He put his chin on Steve's shoulder and the omega whirled around, trying to put space between them.

"I went in deep last night. I kept you knotted and filled. I know it took. You leave now and you'll have no one to help you with our son."

Steve put a hand to his stomach. He didn't want to imagine trying to make his way and raise a child at the same time. No one would want to take him in, an omega with nothing to his name.

"What would you even do anyway? You've got no skills to speak of. Unless you want to be hired based on your bedroom skills."

Steve was too stunned to speak. He hated agreeing to Tommy, so he stormed out. But out just meant out into another part of the Hagan estate. Just another wing of this gilded cage.

Months passed and Steve's belly grew and he didn't know whether or not he hoped this pup was Eddie's. If there was any doubt about it being Tommy's they might give it away, or worse. It wasn't supposed to be like this. His first child was to be met with nothing but glee in a land as big as their dreams. But now he was dreading every development.

Even as he went into labor, it felt like it was happening to someone else. It wasn't until the baby was in his arms, that he realized what he had to do. Regardless of the true parentage, this child deserved all the love in the world. And considering how Tommy was, it would all have to come from Steve. He gave birth to a beautiful girl, so he was able to escape Tommy trying to name their first child after himself.

And so she was christened Octavia Hagan. And Steve worked his hardest to do right by her. It was never easy, not when his heart was a thousand miles away. But by the time she was two, Steve was sure of it. The big brown eyes and the light curl to her hair was enough proof. She was Eddie's. But it was also just enough to deny any accusations that might come his way, not that there was any.

Steve scrounged what he could and hid the money in a bookcase in Octavia's nursery. He might not be able to guarantee her the best quality of life, but anything was worth freedom. And perhaps they might even find Eddie one day. It was this that had Steve holding out hope.

---------------------

It took five years, but Eddie returned. he was dressed in clothes much finer than he'd left in, disembarking a vessel in which he had voyaged in first class. Being a musician that sold out venues had its perks. He held the marriage announcement that had come to the shores years ago. The marriage of Thomas and Stephen Munson, nee Harrington, and then later the birth announcement.

Eddie was here to make good on a promise.

Steve was none the wiser. All he knew was that Tommy was taking him out to see a famed violinist Edgar Wainson for his final night before the man took his show to Paris. Tommy was only going for appearances. His opinion on culture was whatever everyone else thought.

Steve had an appreciation for it, remembering how Eddie would play his fiddle both when they were alone and to earn some extra coin on streets and in taverns. He instilled it in Octavia as well, teaching her piano and allowing her to toss some coins to the street musicians they passed when Tommy wasn't around to scold them about it.

So he brought her along. Where he went, his pup went. Even now, Steve thought if he took his eyes off her for too long, something bad would happen.

The show started and the violinist took the stage and Steve's jaw dropped. Like a man possessed, he stood from his seat, then went into the aisle. Eddie's playing slowed as he watched someone approach. He stopped altogether when he saw who it was. He ignored the gasps as he dropped the violin and jumped off the stage to meet Steve who had broke into a run to meet him.

"I'm sorry!", Steve exclaimed the moment their arms went around each other. "I'm sorry I wasn't there I was-"

"I know, I know my love. I'm sorry I wasn't back sooner I was-"

"I know. God in Heaven Eddie, I know. But you're here now."

"And I'm never letting you go", Eddie promised, kissing him so hard, Steve thought his lips might be bruised, but he didn't care.

"GET OFF!!", Tommy bellowed, struggling through the row of people to get to them.

Unbidden thanks to her smile size and thought to go around the other way where there were less people, Octavia ran up to them, grabbing at Steve's pant leg.

"Mother?"

"Oh, a little one?", Eddie looked down, clearing his throat.

Steve whispered in Eddie's ear. "Your little one."

Eddie's eyes got big as he looked back and forth between Steve and Octavia. He felt something swell in his chest.

"I'll see you hanged for this, you vagrant!", Tommy yelled, finally at them.

Eddie's eyes narrowed. He could only imagine what he'd put Steve through if he was still like this. He still had a promise to make good on.

"Stevie, my muse, my light, there is a vow I still intend to keep."

"Eddie...."

The was murmuring from the audience, unsure of what to make of any of this. It was certainly an odd night at the concert hall. Eddie held Steve's hands, then got down on his knees.

"Runaway with me. Tonight, right now, both of you."

They hadn't packed or prepared anything. There was hardly any money on him and wherever they went, there was sure to be a chase, at least for a while. It wouldn't be easy, but Steve had already missed his chance once. He wouldn't miss it again.

"On your feet", he ordered. "You've got to get me to an altar."

Tommy's protests were unheard, even as he chased after the three of them. Eddie took the first carriage they saw, barreling down the road. Steve was surprised when they came upon the Hagan home. But Eddie told him he wouldn't let Steve leave without taking anything important. He wanted a moment to assure Eddie that he was the most important thing, but Tommy would be hot on their heels the moment he got a carriage. Hopefully the confusion of the headliner running off would give them time.

Steve got things for both himself and Octavia, including directing her on where to find his stash of money. They then went right to the docks, finding a boat that was shoving off that night.

"Where are you headed?", Eddie asked.

"Spain", was the answer.

"Perfect", Steve said, giving enough money for all three and also to expedite the departure.

Tommy would either be expecting France or the Americas. Only when they were settled below deck and the shore was a tiny dot in the dark did Steve's nerves settle. Octavia was pressed to his side and he kissed the top of her head. It was probably even more of a whirlwind for her, running off with this man she had never met. Time to change that.

"Sweetheart, this is Eddie. In truth, he is your real father."

"Pleasure to meet you madame", Eddie gave a sweeping bow, making her giggle.

"Are we all going to live together now?", she asked.

"Til the end of our days", Eddie promised.

"What about father?", she asked Steve, referring to Tommy.

"God willing, we'll never see him again."

It took them the whole night, plus a day and a half to get to Spain. The sun was setting, but they managed to find a church. They were wary of how they might be received, but the man who saw to them had a milky eye with a scar over it, so he must've had a well lived life. Octavia was their very willing witness, and so they were wed in a port town that they didn't know the name of.

"Well, it took longer than we planned, but we're finally starting our lives together", Eddie said as they settled in the beds of an inn. Octavia was already deep in her own slumber in her own cot.

Eddie was laying in bed ready to snuff out the light as Steve got in next to him. When he did, only the moon from the window lit their features. Steve grabbed Eddie's face and pulled him in for a kiss. One that was slow and deep as his hand started drifting down.

"Here?", Eddie whispered, apprehensive but doing nothing to stop him. He glanced at the child on the other side of the room.

"She sleeps like the dead. Besides, you owe me a wedding night."

[toxinoire]

Kara never thought of it when Lena first asked her this question.

"What if someone says; in like a few years maybe, I'd be...gone?" Lena asks, staring at the distance.

Kara got confused at this question. But decided to answer anyway. "Well, I'd most likely, punch them or something. I'm not letting that happen."

Lena chuckled. "You're right...I guess it's just another existential crisis."

"Want to talk about it?" Kara asks softly. Lena just smiles at her. "No, darling. It's alright. It's just one of those times."

"Well, if you need anything...food, movies, a hug, I'm right here."

Lena laughs and nods. "Got that."

She didn't ask that question for no reason. She isn't sure if Kara already figured this fact out already, but their time is limited. Because Kara won't die unless she gets killed with Kryptonite or the day the yellow sun flying over them dies.

Lena knows there's a chance that Kara's life could be at stake at any given moment, but at the same time...there's a possibility that she could have Kara for the rest of her life. While Kara won't have Lena, nor the rest of their family for the rest of her life.

See here's the thing, Kara knew that. But ignorance is a bliss, as they say. She pretends that the day won't come.

But...maybe she indulged herself too much.

Because right now, Kara, swear to Rao, drops the car she's currently carrying as her eyes widen in fear. Through a window, not that big, but big enough for her to witness it firsthand.

Lena, sweet, gentle, beautiful Lena, with a knife pierced through her neck. She heard the enemy responsible for it, the one who's back is facing the window, laugh. Fucking laugh. Kara and Lena make eye contact through the window, Lena smiling gently, softly, warmly, at her. Muttering something no human could hear, but Kara heard so clearly. Her voice as soft as her gaze.

"I love you."

Kara barges in, breaking the whole wall, she rushes to her, hoping she could still save her. Hoping she wouldn't lose her. She can't lose Lena, she just can't.

However, it was too late. The knife stabbed a very fatal spot, and Kara witnesses Lena drop to the ground.

Kara can no longer hear her heartbeat.

"Aww, look at Supergirl. The Paragon of Hope, looking hopeless-"

Before this asshole can finish, Kara pushes him, actually pushes him off the broken wall, she hears him scream and plummet down, but she doesn't care.

"Lena?"

Nothing.

"Please, no. No. Fuck. Please don't leave me, don't take her too, please." Kara tries to get help, but to no avail.

Lena Luthor's death was publicly announced two days later. Many were happy at the fact that there was not a single Luthor left. The Superfriends grieved in their own ways. At least some people in the city actually acknowledged what Lena did for the world and paid their respects. The Superfriends tried to comfort Kara. She appreciates it, of course, but it won't bring Lena, Kara's...everything, back to her.

Now everywhere she goes, Kara just sees Lena.

She would try to go to Big Belly Burger, she just remembers that time they celebrated Lena's birthday there. Noonan's? She just sees Lena's smile when Kara gives her coffee from that place. The park in National City? That time Lena used her magic fully for the first time. CatCo? She remembers every hall Lena ever walked in. She sees a book? She remembers Lena giving her one.

Her own apartment also reminds her of Lena, all the times they had there. Certain foods remind her of Lena. Everything around her is now just a ghost of Lena. Even fucking kryptonite reminds her of Lena.

She's everywhere Kara goes.

No one in the city realized how much Supergirl was so torn over the loss of Lena Luthor.

Some dickwads actually thought she was happy about it, which some idiot reporter asked her one day.

"You must be really relieved that the last Luthor is no longer a threat."

Kara stays silent, yet her eyes emmit everything she wants to say.

Kelly holds back an angry Alex from hitting someone, but Kelly herself is yelling about how insensitive that was, about how this reporter is disrespecting the dead, about how they forgot that Lena worked with Supergirl. Both Brainy and Nia list down everything that Lena has done to save the city.

Kara? She's been silent, before taking a deep breath, looking at the reporter, knowing there are cameras surrounding her, she says,

"This world is nothing without her."

Then, she flies away, higher into the blue skies and screams.

Would you look at that, world. There's a Luthor that successfully broke a Super.